點唱機的啟示

還記得老式的點唱機嗎？

無論是大的落地型、小的桌上型，

只要投幣、選曲，機器就會從深處抽出某張唱片，開始播放。

我們要做的只是投錢、按下按鈕 ，
機器就會依據你的選擇，從所有儲藏中抽選出唱片。

想像每個和我們互動的人，內在深處也有一系列可能的回應：

從最無禮、恐懼，到非常友善、支持，以及這光譜間的各種可能。

假設現在有人走進房間，我們表示歡迎，說：

「進來坐吧，目前氣氛正好，快來一起開心」

這就會從這個人所有可能的回應光譜中，

抽取出接近「我很安心、感覺很好」的選項。

但如果看到這人走進房間，我們雙手抱胸、臭臉：「你來幹嘛？」

這就會讓對方感到不舒服、害怕。

大多數的人都是接受刺激而反應，如果他的意識層次並非特別高，

很可能會選擇退縮、封閉，或感到擔憂、沒安全感。

反之，如果今天他是一個意識較高的人（也是大家希望成為的），

而我們雙手抱胸：「你來幹嘛？」

他回應：「因為喜歡你們、想加入你們啊」

如此他就提高了我們的意識光譜。

故事的重點來了。

當我們傷害自己、討厭自己時，自然會引出他人的傷害性反應。

（因為每個人都像鏡子一樣，映射出我們真實的狀態）

而這等同於對他們的攻擊 ！

因為我們等於是要對方從一系列回應光譜中選一個較糟的選項。

這也讓他們的自我感覺變差、頻率低落，封閉退縮。

但若我珍重、關愛自己，也認為：

「我的確會犯各種大小錯誤，但這並不是不能歡欣接納自己的理由。」

如此一來，身邊的每個人自然會選擇光譜中更高的回應方式，
因為一旦我對自己感到舒服，他們也就對自己感到舒服了。

Remember the old-fashioned jukebox: either they are large or small on table, that you can put any quarter and put int your selections, someplace for you couldn’t see all kind of records down in the bowels of where the mechanical parts were, and so it would pull up the record and play it. And so your part was to put in the money and push the button.

Here's part of the analogy: there were all these records stored in here, and it pull up the one depending upon what you call for. For every person we interact with, there are whole range of responses from fearful awful responses, to very loving supportive responses, and all shades in between.

So let’s pretend someone just came in the door right here. If we welcome them and said "by all means come in and join us, we are having the great time, just sit there and be quiet, you will love it.” That will elicit from that person out of all the responses it have to us, that will elicit one that is closer to “I am okay, I care about myself” in the scale.

If on the other hand, somebody came in the door, we all went “what do you want?” That will make somebody feel a little uncomfortable, afraid, scared. So the response then… because most of people are still operating out of the stimulus response system, that was not a very conscious being, that person will kind of hold back, and shut down, be worried, feel unsafe and so on.

If that were a conscious person, which is what we wanna be, and we all went “why are you here?” That person would be “Well I am here because I adore you, and I wanna be here with you.” In which case that person would be making us more conscious.

But when we have a response to somebody which is: when we hurt ourselves and think ill of ourselves… this is the important part of the story: we automatically elicit from them a hurtful response back. Remembering the people are mirroring what’s going on with us. And that is the attack on them, because here they’ve got all of this range of responses they can make, we are requiring them to pull from the pretty awful end of their spectrum of responses, which makes them feel worse, their vibration goes down, they block themselves…

If I care about myself, and I am happy with myself, and I realize “of course I make all sorts of mistakes but that is no reason not to be really happy to be me,” I am going to automatically elicit of response from the people around me who are much further up to scale. So I am doing other people a service by being happy about being me, because I help them be happy about being them.

(extracted from Carol Howl Master Class 6 video)