【肯恩影片】這一整天，上主之聲不斷向我發言

【這一整天，上主之聲不斷向我發言】

"God's Voice speaks to me all through the day"

今天早上我們要討論的主題是練習手冊第 49 課的：「這一整天，上主之聲不斷向我發言」，這是最容易被誤解的其中一課 (不幸的是的確也被誤解了)。根據這一課所說 (顯然也是事實)，這一整天上主之聲的聖靈確實不斷向我發言，然而它卻未曾說過：「這一整天，我們都不斷聽見上主之聲」。這其中大有文章。問題從不在於我們的正念──上主之聲所在之處，而是在於小我或妄念所製造出的干擾雜訊。因此課程的整體目的並非是以「幫助我們聽見聖靈」為目標，其焦點核心實則是幫我們去除那干擾我們聽到上主之聲的雜訊。

This mornings's topic would be Lesson 49 in the work book "God's Voice speaks to me all through the day." This is one of those lessons which can be easily misunderstood and unfortunately has been misunderstood. While the lesson says - and obviously it's the fact - that God's voice, the holy spirit, does speak to me all through the day", it never says that we hear the voice all through the day. And therein lies a tale. The problem is never what's in our right mind, which is where God's voice is. The problem is the static that's created or made by the ego, by the wrong mind. And so the whole purpose of the Course is not to help us hear the holy spirit as such as a goal, rather the focus of the Course is to have us remove the static that interferes without hearing God's voice.

過去我經常在工作坊或上課時說到，當我們問聖靈問題時，「我應該做什麼」或「我應該要去哪裡」等等都不是正確的問題，該問的是：「為何我不去做你要我做的，好讓自己在這一整天聽到你的聲音不斷向我發言？」祂要我們做的，也是去除妄念所造之雜訊的方法，當然就是寬恕──放棄判斷，並且一整天不間斷地監看自己心中所有不仁慈、批評判斷、攻擊性的念頭，以及將這些攻擊念頭和憤怒情緒合理化的一切作為。當我們看著這些念頭，並且不對它們做任何事情──意即不帶著罪惡感觀看它們，而是懷著「將這些念頭的黑暗帶入聖靈的寬恕之光中」的意圖──這樣的念頭便會一直存在；而且只要它們在，就會成為雜訊。

In the past, I frequently used to say in workshops and classes that the right question to ask of the holy spirit is not "what should I do" or "where should I go" etc.. The right question to ask is "why don't I do what you tell me to do so that I can hear your voice speak to me all through the day?" And of course what he tells us to do, that kind of clears the way the static of the wrong mind, is to forgive, to give up judgments, to monitor our mind throughout the day for all these unkind thoughts, all the critical, judgmental thoughts, all the attack thoughts, all the ways of justifying these attack thoughts and our angry feelings. As we look at these and don't do something about them - which means look at them without feeling guilty, look at them with the purpose of bringing the darkness of these thoughts to the light of the holy spirit's forgiveness - these thoughts will remain, and if they remain, they serve as a static.

在正文第 24 章的某一段中，耶穌向我們說明了為何特殊性之聲會蓋過聖靈之聲。(T-24 II. 4:1-5:1)(註1) 這便是我們的重點，也是我們為特殊關係、特殊的癮頭、特殊之愛與特殊之恨所深深著迷的緣故。我們是如此執迷於依賴他人帶給我們的美好感覺；甚或依賴他人對我們所做的攻擊，而讓自己感覺良好──由於如果他們攻擊我們，他們就是上主所懲罰的對象，我們便可因此逃過一劫。

In Chapter 24, there is a passage where Jesus talks about how the voice of specialness drowns out the holy spirit's voice. (T-24 II. 4:1-5:1)That is the whole point. That's why we're so attracted to our special relationships, our special addictions, our special loves and our special hates. We're so attracted to be dependent on other people to make us feel good, or so dependent on other people to make us feel good by virtue of their attack on us - because if they attack us, they are the ones God will punish and we will be off the hook.

這便清楚解釋了救贖 (atonement) 的真實性。若我讓自己聽見了聖靈的寬恕之聲，那便是救贖之聲。「救贖」是課程中代表了救恩真實原則的詞彙，說明我們和上主的分裂、和自己真實身份的分裂根本未曾發生；我在這一生所感覺到自己與其他人的分裂，也從未存在。也就是說，我從未做過這個夢，因此不存在任何影響。倘若這是真的，那麼分裂並不存在，罪也不存在，我便不會經驗到因為相信了自己所做的一切而產生的罪惡感，也沒有了遭受懲罰的恐懼──這恐懼驅使我和我同身為聖子的弟兄們逃離了心靈而造出這世界，將自己分化為千百億個碎片，並將每一小片都以身體封裝起來。簡言之，倘若這是真的，那麼「我」，那個具有身心，擁有過去、現在並展望未來的人便不存在。這一切只是夢境中的片段，根本不曾存在。然而我喜愛自己的這個身份；即便我不喜歡自己，但我總是喜愛「即便我不喜歡自己，但我的確存在」這樣的事實。

This explains very well that is true if I allow myself to hear the holy spirit's voice of forgiveness, which is the voice of atonement - atonement being the Course's term for the true principle of salvation that says the separation from God never happened, the separation from who I truly am has never happened, the separation I perceived between myself and all the other people in my life, that is never happened, so it implies that I don't dream, that has no effect. If that is true, then there is no separation, there is no sin, there is no experience of guilt over what I believe I've done, there is no fear of punishment that leads me and all of us as one Son to flee the mind and make up the world, fragmentize ourselves with the billions and billions of pieces, and each little piece housed in a body. And the combination of all that is that there is no me. There is no person, a physical and psychological person has a past, has a present, has an anticipated future - all that is part of the dream and this does not exist. Or I like who I am, and even if I don't like who I am, I like the fact that "I exist and don't like who I am".

聖經之所以如此受到大眾喜愛的其中一個原因，也源自於此。那就是：聖經中的上主認識我們。祂不一定喜歡我們，可能試圖懲罰我們，甚至在心情極差時要消滅我們，然而至少祂注意著我們。這樣的「注意」即是關鍵所在。耶穌告訴我們，我們向上主要求特殊的恩惠而未得到允諾，因為這請求對祂完全不可理喻 (T-13.III.10:2-4)。也就是說，我們希望上主特別關注我們的個體性、我們所分化出的自我。然而當上主並未答應我們 (因為這是不可能的事) 時，我們便請祂捲舖蓋走路，再另行造出一位親愛的上主──也就是聖經中的上主。這位上主注意著我們，將我們創造為個體，更仔細數過我們的每一根頭髮 (註2)。即使在心情不好的時刻，祂顯得相當主觀武斷不饒人，但這便是我們所喜愛的上主。

By the same token, one of the reasons that the Bible has become so incredibly popular is that the God in the Bible knows us. He may not like us, he may even try to punish us and on his worst day kill us, but at least he notices us. And it's that noticing that is so important. When Jesus tells us that we asked special favor of God and He did not grant it, because the request is alien to Him (T-13.III.10:2-4), that is telling us that we want the God to pay special attention to our individuality, to our differentiated self. And the God did not do that because He could not do that, we basically fired him and made up another loving God, i.e. the God of the Bible - the God who notices us, who created us as individuals, who counts the hair on our head, etc. That God we like. Even on His bad days, which may be very unforgiving and judgmental.

因此，問題在於：我們將小我之聲及其思想體系視如珍寶。由於上主之聲確實一整天都不斷向我們發言，我們便需要將這個思想體系當作防衛盾牌。我們聽不見的原因，是因為我們根本不願聽見。所以奇蹟課程的主要重點──或許也是耶穌希望我們瞭解的最重要的事 (因為這便是化解小我之道)──就在於：認清我們在「選擇傾聽小我之聲 (使其蓋過祂的聲音)」上投注了多少心力。

So the problem is that we cherish the ego's voice, that we cherish the ego's thought system. And we need to have that thought system as the defense, because God's voice indeed speaks to us all through the day. The problem is we don't hear it because we don't want to hear it. So the major emphasis of the Course in Miracles and probably the most important thing of all Jesus wants us to understand, because that's the way we undo the ego, is to recognize our investment in hearing the ego's voice over his voice.

我們會來到這個世界，投胎為一個具有身心的個體，主要動機便來自於此；而我們所抱持的每一個不仁慈的念頭、特殊之愛或特殊之恨的念頭、從他人身上體驗到快感的念頭、或某些時候由他人造成我們痛苦的念頭等等，隱藏在背後的也是同一個動機。這一切都反覆重演著最初的那一刻：我們告訴上主「走開」，因為對我們而言，祂的愛還不夠。每當我們又對某人或某事抱持不仁慈、批判性的念頭時，就是在告訴耶穌和聖靈：「走開，我對祢的寬恕訊息一點興趣也沒有，我沒興趣聽祢說話。我要的是這一個聲音，這聲音讓我成為特殊的、獨一無二的，並且承認我是一個個體。」當我們認清自己傾聽小我之聲的動機時，才終於能放下它。因為我們認清了這個選擇帶給了我們多少痛苦，並且體會到：「我能享有上主的喜悅，何以還要選擇痛苦？」

That is the motivation number one for being born into this world again as individual, physical and psychological entities, but it's the motivation behind every unkind thought, every special thought, whether it's special love or special hate, thoughts in experiences of people giving us pleasure, or thoughts people in circumstances bringing us pain. All of these reenact the original moment when we in the fact told God to get lost, that His love is not enough. And each and every moment we have an unkind, judgmental thought about anyone or anything, we are telling Jesus and the holy spirit "Get lost. I'm not interested in your message of forgiveness. I'm not interested in hearing your voice. I want this voice instead. I want the voice that keeps me special, keeps me unique and keeps me individual." And it's in recognizing that motivation to hear the ego's voice, that allows us to finally to let it go because we recognize how very painful that choice is, and "why would I choose pain when I can have the joy of God instead".

註1：「你一點也不特殊。你若自命特殊，必然不惜與自己的真相為敵，也要設法保全這個特殊性，那你還可能知道真相嗎？如果你請教、答覆與聆聽的對象，都是這一特殊性，你可能接收到聖靈什麼樣的答覆？上主不斷以愛讚頌你的生命真相，你卻一味聆聽特殊性的暗啞回應。上主讚美你與愛你的雄偉讚歌，在特殊性的淫威下，只好噤聲不語。每當你豎耳聆聽特殊性的暗啞之聲時，上主對你的呼喚必然不復可聞。只要你還在為自己的特殊性辯護，就絕對聽不到在它旁邊的聖靈之音。」(T-24 II. 4:1-5:1)

註2：「就是你們的頭髮也都被數過了．不要懼怕、你們比許多麻雀還貴重。 ─路加福音 12:7 」(But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows. - Luke 12:7) 意即：上主時時刻刻都注意著我們，關心我們、瞭解我們，連每個人頭上有幾根頭髮祂都瞭若指掌，數得一清二楚。

【肯恩影片】喜好與熱中的差別

【喜好與熱中的差別】

"Difference between Preferences and Investments"

今天我們要討論的是「喜好」 (preferences) 與「熱中」 (investments) 的差別。在正文前面的第二章之中，就告訴我們不要否認這物質世界中的體驗。事實上，耶穌甚至說：我們根本無法這麼做，而如此行使否認的能力也是最不值得的。(T-2. IV. 3:10-11) 因為即使身體只是幻相，且我們在情緒上和物質上以身體感知的一切也是幻相，但我們仍然相信自己是一具身體，相信自己正在學習一本由耶穌口授、海倫筆錄，名叫《奇蹟課程》的書。課程也是幻相的一部分，因為它同樣屬於知見和二元對立的範圍。但耶穌也告訴我們，不要去否認這一切、否認自己的體驗，而是要經由我們的正念、而非妄念，去經驗這一切。所以重點並非放下或捨棄身體──在整個過程的最後，當我們認出這世界 (包括我們個人的體驗) 只是一場夢境時，那便會自然發生。

Today we are going to discuss the difference between preferences and investments. We are told early in a section of Chapter 2 that we are not to deny our physical experiences in this world. In fact, Jesus tells us that would be practically impossible to do so, and would be an inappropriate use of denial. (T-2. IV. 3:10-11) The reason for that being even though the body is an illusion and everything we experience as a body, both emotionally and physically, is an illusion. Nonetheless, we believe our bodies. We are students of a book calls "A Course in Miracles", dictated by Jesus to Helen. So everything about the Course is part of the illusion - it's perceptual; it's dualistic. And we are certainly asked not to deny any of these. And again, we are not asked to deny our experiences, rather what we are asked to do is to let these experiences come from our right mind, rather than our wrong mind. So again, we are not talking about letting go of our bodies. That will happen at the very very end of the process when we recognize that the entire world is a dream, including our individual experience.

因此，在實際層面上探討「喜好」與「熱中」的差別，對我們會有所幫助。讓我舉個自己的例子，可以更清楚地說明。當我和我兄弟還小時，曾和父母一起到加拿大旅行。我們抵達蒙特羅的時候，已經是星期天的深夜，超過晚上 11 點鐘。當我們在落腳的汽車旅館準備就寢時，我母親發現她沒有水果可以吃。對她而言，在睡前若不吃點水果──蘋果、橘子、梨子之類──便會無法入眠，那已是她晚間習慣的一部分了。對於沒有水果可吃，她感到惶恐；因此我和我父親便在過了 11 點鐘的深夜裡再度出門。然而在那個時代，還沒有 7-11 或其他便利商店，店家全都關門了。我還記得，我們開著車毫無目的地穿梭在蒙特羅的街道上，為我母親尋覓她的水果。最後我們徒勞無功，空手而歸。而我可憐的母親沒水果吃，還是只好上床睡覺。這就是「熱中」的心態。若你說：「除非某件事發生，否則我活不下去、睡不著覺、開心不起來、內心無法平靜」，這便是我們所謂特殊關係以及「特別關注某事」的另一種說法。

So it's helpful to speak on a practical level of the difference between having an investment on something, or having a preference. Let me give you a personal example of this, which kind of makes a point very well. When we were children - my brother and I, my parents and us had taken a trip to Canada. We arrived very very late, and that was a Sunday night, it was after 11 o'clock in Montreal. We were in the motel ready to go to sleep, and my mother realized she did not have a piece of fruit. For my mother, it was part of her night time habitual that she could not go to sleep without having some piece of fruit - an apple, orange, pear or something. She was horrified that she did not have this piece of fruit, so my father and I went out after 11 o'clock at night, but this was the time when we did not have 7-11 or convenient stores. Nothing was open. I remember driving through the streets of Montreal - we did not know where we were going, of course - and trying to find my mother a piece of fruit. We tried in vain, so we eventually came back to the motel empty-handed, and my poor mother had to go to sleep without a piece of fruit. That's an investment. When you say "I cannot survive, I cannot go to sleep, I cannot be happy, I cannot be at peace, unless something happens". This is just another way we talk about the special relationships and special investments.

另一方面，「喜好」則是另一回事。沒錯，我的確偏好在睡前吃點水果，但如果沒有水果可吃，也不是世界末日。我的確偏好在餐廳用餐時來點甜點，而且想吃的是香草冰淇淋而不是草莓冰淇淋。如果我對此事抱持熱中心態，則可能會氣沖沖地離開餐廳，直奔最近的冰淇淋店，給自己買一支香草冰淇淋。但若我抱持的是喜好心態，便會說：「是的，我想要吃的是香草冰淇淋，但如果你們沒有供應的話，請問還可以點什麼？」這是一種生活在這世界上更實際、更理智、更有愛心也更仁慈的方式。我的確偏好和那些認為我人很好的人們往來，而不是和那些對我有意見的人在一起。但如果我抱持的是熱中心態，便會避開所有不喜歡我的人，會因別人對我的負面言論而抓狂，也會覺得全人類都難以相處。因為人們多半不會認同這世界以我為中心，也不會如此對待我。

A preference, on the other hand, is something else. Yes, my preference would be to have a piece of fruit before I go to sleep, but if I don't have a piece of fruit, it's not the end of the world. Yes, my preference would be to have dessert in the restaurant, and have vanilla ice cream instead of strawberry. So if I have investment, I may storm out of the restaurant, go to the nearest Ben and Jerry's or whatever, and have myself a vanilla ice cream. A preference will simply say: "Yes, I'd like to have vanilla ice cream. But if you don't have that, what do you have?" That's a more sensible, common-sensed, and more loving, kind approach to how we live in this world. Yes, my preference would be to be with people who think I'm a good person, rather than to be with a person who doesn't think I'm a good person. But if I have an investment, then I will avoid all the people who don't like me. I will take offense at anything negative anybody says about me, and I will find it very difficult towards the human race. Because most people either would not think I'm the center of the universe as I think I am, and they would not treat me as such.

有喜好則是無傷大雅的。事實上，只要有一具身體，就不可能沒有喜好。關於襯衫、上衣、毛衣、褲子、裙子的顏色，我們都各有愛好。那不代表我們所愛好的顏色是全世界唯一適合自己、或在自己身上最完美的顏色，而是穿著這些顏色純粹讓我們感覺舒服。因此，我們應當要察覺自己關於某些事物「不能沒有你」的熱中心態。再次強調，這即是特殊性的另一種說法。因為某些事物絕不可妥協，我們便會毫不留情地除去每一個阻擋我路的人、佔人便宜、利用或虐待他人、甚至不惜犧牲別人，只為滿足自己的需要。

So again, it's fine to have preferences. In fact, one cannot be in a body without a preference. We all have preferences for the color of shirts, blouses, sweaters, slacks and skirts that we would wear. But that doesn't mean the color that we prefer is the only color in the world for us, or the best color in the world for us. It simply means that's what makes me feel comfortable. So what we want to do is to be aware of the investments we have in things "having to be different". Again, this is another word for specialness. Things having to be different and then running over everybody, taking advantage of other people, using, abusing, victimizing people, so our needs are met.

當我們有所察覺，甚至在最細微、看似無害的形式中意識到這一點時，那便是我們要向耶穌求助的：將我們認同此事的熱中心態轉換為純粹的喜好。若事情並未以這個方式解決，便會以另一種方式解決；無論我的需求是否實現，我都能感到平安；無論我吃的冰淇淋是香草、巧克力還是草莓口味，無論我的衣著是不是某個顏色，我都能感到從容平靜；無論人們是不是以我喜歡或想要的方式來對待我，我依然可以心懷仁慈、以愛待人。

When we become aware of this, even in the simplest form, seemingly innocuous form - that's what we want to ask Jesus for help, that we shift our identification from this as an investment to simply being a preference. And if things don't work out one way, then work out another way. Regardless of the externalization of my neediness, I could be at peace. So regardless if I have vanilla or chocolate or strawberry ice cream, regardless if I'm wearing a certain color, I can still be at peace. Regardless of people acting towards me in the way that I like or demand, I could still be loving, I could still be kind.

因此，一切的關鍵就是：選擇「喜好心態」的隨和溫柔，而非由堅持滿足「熱中心態」而生的強硬、甚至殘酷。這不僅是仁慈、溫和與強硬、攻擊，或耶穌與小我之間的抉擇，也確實是選擇了天堂或地獄的差別。

So the key in everything is to choose the gentleness of preference over and above the hardness - sometimes even cruelty - of insisting on meeting our investments. It's the decision not only between kindness and gentleness, and hardness and attack; between the ego and Jesus. It's really the difference between choosing heaven or hell.

註：關於 "Investment" 在正文中的段落，可參考正文第 12 章第参節「投資真相」。文中提到：「堅持意味著一種投注，你投注什麼，常與你的救恩觀念有關。」(Insistence means investment, and what you invest in is ALWAYS related to your notion of salvation.) (T-12. III. 2:5) 肯恩這邊的意思更接近一種「熱中、依賴、執著」的狀態──由於我們對於特殊的人事物投注了特別多注意力而產生的結果──故譯為「熱中」。