再度正面交鋒

不知道是練了靈性肚皮舞把底下兩個脈輪打開了，勾出一堆潛藏的情緒，
還是心靈的裝死力下降了，
最近時常和一些密度頗高的恐懼、憤怒、悲傷正面交鋒。
於是我以為這就是觀看小我的好時機。

然而在練習觀看小我的過程中，卻往往有越看越頭破血流的傾向，
怎麼轉眼間處處都是令人可憎的小我。
今天中午吃飯時，前桌坐了一個嬰兒，以前會覺得可愛，
但當下只覺得那一不如意就哭鬧不休、想要霸佔媽媽注意力的小子分明就是小魔鬼，
活脫脫是個尚不知隱藏的「無修片」版小我。
不禁在心中吶喊：是要怎麼在他身上看到聖靈啊到底？

一個念頭忽然浮上腦海：找錯人了。
原來我完全忘了自己到底找誰一起觀看，
在沒有邀請聖靈陪伴的狀況下，就貿然自己一個去看小我，
結果自然是那個與我仍關係密切的小我和我一起看，不頭破血流才怪。

前陣子那個事件讓我看見自己無意識的防衛機制之後，
好像剝掉了一層皮，拆開包裝底下的是強烈的憤怒和恨意，
這是我的防衛機制所掩藏的，那個無止盡「吞噬」欲望所化身的怪獸。

於是在瞭解到自己要邀請對的人來陪同觀看之後，
今天便能心平氣和地面對那隻兇惡的巨獸。
祂告訴我：其實牠並不可怕，因為那不是真實的我，只是我誤信了那是自己。
於是我看見，牠身旁的地獄烈火竟對我毫髮無傷，
我可以同理牠、傾聽牠的悲憤，就這麼陪著牠。

到了某個時刻，那隻憤怒的野獸慢慢開始退下，
原來牠也只是另一層皮，我繼續打開包裝，
裡頭包著的是：恐懼、無助，還有內咎。
我瞥見了一個彷彿犯了滔天大罪而瑟瑟發抖的孩子。
那個「我不夠好，我不值得」的聲音，取代了受害者的怒吼。

由於忽然被其他事情打斷，觀看過程就暫時中止。
然而到這裡，我逐漸了解自己為何先前對觀看小我有極大的反抗。
因為沒有聖靈那令人安心的接納，
我單刀赴會真的只有看得既深且痛、加深內咎的份。
第一次深刻地體會到，為何和祂建立關係會是如此重要、如此必要了。

其餘的，改日再續吧。

你看起來很好吃

仔細觀照那浮上心頭的渴望，
那份想要得到另一個人的愛、佔據其身體和注意力的渴望，
包裝紙上寫著「思念和愛」，拆去外層之後卻只看見「吞噬」的欲望。
真的就是這弱肉強食世界中最原始的、吞噬其他生命的欲望。
只要對方不乖乖就範，那暴龍般張牙舞爪的樣子就會原形畢露。

在這一刻，我看到自己眼中的弟兄真的就是具身體，
而且還是潛在的獵物、寵物、可操縱的傀儡。
小我的原形真的好醜陋、好令人不堪。
我居然把我自認為「摯愛」的弟兄，看成這副模樣，
這不是神智不清還會是什麼？？

就像「你看起來很好吃」電影中的暴龍 Heart，
發現自己和草食的兄弟不同，無法控制自己愛吃肉的習性，
那樣的掙扎、痛苦。

在這樣弱肉強食的世界中，真的有超越形體的愛嗎？
故事中的暴龍 Heart，發現自己可以把一隻可愛的小甲龍當成自己的孩子去愛，
如同慈愛地撫養牠長大的慈母龍一樣。
縱使牠們一個是草食動物，一個肉食動物，註定是互相吞噬的敵對身份。
然而牠沒有血緣的媽媽，還是愛著牠，
正如牠也愛著沒有血緣的小甲龍孩子一樣。

當 Heart 的兄弟問牠：「你會吃我嗎？」
Heart 說：「不吃肉我無法活下去，
但我可以選擇自己什麼時候吃肉，什麼時候不吃。」
是了，作決定的永遠是心靈啊。

和身體認同的時候，我們都長得不一樣，
你身上有我非要不可的東西，因此吞噬攻擊都是理所當然。
不和身體認同的時候，我們都一樣，
一樣可愛、值得愛，也一樣都只是在這世界漂泊、渴望愛的孤兒。

【肯恩影片】拓展我們對寬恕的理解

【拓展我們對寬恕的理解】

"Expanding our understanding of forgiveness"

今天早上我們要談的是另一種看待課程中寬恕的方式。課程僅告訴我們必須寬恕我們的弟兄、寬恕他人對我們做的事，並且不能將任何人排除在寬恕的範圍之外。當然，我們的關係對學習而言的確是極其關鍵且重要的道場，因為我們總會將潛意識中的罪咎投射到他人身上，特別是我們生命中的重要人物。不過我們還有一種更寬廣、涵容的方式來看待寬恕。

This morning we're going to talk about another way of looking at forgiveness as the Course talks about it. Also exclusively in the Course we are told that: we have to forgive our brothers, we have to forgive what people have done to us, we have to forgive all people that can't be any exceptions to our forgiveness. And of course our relationships clearly constitute the most significant, important classrooms in our learning, since our own unconscious guilt almost invariably tends to be projected out to people, and certainly the significant people in our life. But there is another way of looking at forgiveness, which is even more embracing.

你可能還記得練習手冊前面的那幾課，耶穌提到如何以不同的眼光來觀看房間裡的各種東西。其中有一課就要我們去「觀看垃圾桶、衣架、手指」等等。(W-pI. 29. 5) 也就是說，先不管手指，它們其實都是我們所認為的無生命物體，相對於人類、動物、植物等有生命的生物，在我們的世界中它們都屬於非生物的範圍。

You may recall the early Workbook lessons. Jesus talks about looking at the objects in the room differently. One lesson has this "look at the waste paper basket or coat hanger, hand, etc." In other words, setting aside the hand for the moment, they would be the things that we think of as being inanimate. Things in our world that are non-living in contrast with the animate, which would be the things that are living: human beings, animals, plants, etc..

當我們瞭解「投射」是怎麼一回事之後──意即由於觀念離不開它的源頭 (W-pI. 132 5:3)，因此在我們的心靈之外全無一物──就會明白唯一的問題是：心靈選擇了罪咎。在我們的心靈中，罪咎就跟上主的愛、寬恕和救贖一樣，都是抽象而不具體的念頭，只有在投射出去之際才會顯得具體。如果問題真出在這裡，那麼投射的對象是誰就無所謂了。我們所投射的對象無論是人、寵物、烤麵包機、汽車、電腦還是食物，都是一樣的，因為問題從來都不在外面 (世界)，而是在裡面 (心靈)。

When we understand what projection is, that there is literally nothing outside of our mind, because ideas leave not the source. (W-pI. 132 5:3) And the only problem is the mind's decision for guilt, which is an abstract non-specific thought in our mind, as His love, as forgiveness, as atonement. They only become specific when we project them out. If that is the problem, then it makes no difference onto what object the guilt is put on. Whether we are talking about a person, whether we are talking about a pet, whether we are talking about a toaster or automobile, or computer, whether we are talking about some food, it makes no difference what the object our projection is, since the problem is never what is outside, the problem is always what is inside.

這正是第 21 章開頭中學員很熟悉的那句：「不要設法去改變世界，而應決心改變你對世界的看法」。(T-21. in. 1:7) 再重複一次，真正的問題絕不是外在的問題，因為觀念離不開它的源頭。耶穌在練習手冊中的某個段落也提到，這即是課程中的核心概念。 (W-pI. 132 5:3-4) 若未理解「觀念離不開它的源頭」，就無法真正懂這部課程。重點就在於問題從來都不在外面，而是心靈選擇了小我。這才是問題之所在。也就是第 79 課和 80 課中所說的：問題只有一個，也就是我們相信了分裂，而救贖則是唯一的解決之道。

That is why there is the line most Course students know very well: "Seek not to change the world but choose to change your mind about the world" (T-21. in. 1:7), at the beginning of Chapter 21. The problem is never what is outside, because once again, the ideas leave not their source. There is one passage in Workbook lesson, where Jesus refers it as the central concept in the Course. (W-pI. 132 5:3-4) Without understanding "the ideas leave not their source", there is no way of understanding anything in this Course. Because the gist of that is again, the problem is never outside, the problem is the mind's decision for the ego. That is the problem. That is why the lessons 79 and 80 say: there is only one problem, that's the belief in separation, there is only one solution as the atonement.

既然我們所投射的對象無關緊要，因此在生活中，就不僅要觀照自己心中那些關於他人的不仁慈、缺乏愛心的批判念頭，同時也要留意那些針對生活中物品而發的念頭，因為兩者在我們的救贖道路上都是同等重要。換言之，假設我的車一大早就發不動，而我對著車子大發雷霆，這就是不寬恕。對我們的心靈成長而言，這和「向那個離開車子沒關燈導致車發不動的人發脾氣」具有同樣的殺傷力。

So again, it doesn't matter what we project onto, so that it's just as important for our atonement path, and our progress on the atonement path, and as we go through our day, we not only monitor our mind's unkind, unloving judgmental thoughts towards the other people, but also towards the objects in our life. So, if my car doesn't start in the morning, I will get angry at the car. That's unforgiveness. That is just as detrimental to our spiritual growth, as being angry at the one who left the lights on so the car doesn't start.

如果電腦出了問題而當機，便開始對電腦產生不耐煩，也正意味著我們相信：「我不平安的原因是因為我的電腦當機了」。這就是個謊言。當我們談到「別相信小我的謊言」時，「我煩惱的理由是我電腦當機了」正是一個絕佳範例。換言之，我根本沒有邀請耶穌和我一起坐在書桌前面。如果我邀請了祂，並且感受到祂的愛就在我身旁，那麼當電腦當機時，我會盡己所能去做任何能幫助電腦恢復運作的事，但不會感到不耐、生氣或厭煩，也不會覺得：「為什麼這種事情老發生在我身上」。

If our computer jams and locks up, and we start to get impatient with the computer, we are saying: the reason I'm not at peace is because my computer has locked up. Again, that's the lie. So when we are speaking about not believing the ego's lies, that's a very great example that the reason I'm upset is because my computer locked up, I did not invite Jesus with me as I was sitting at my desk. If I had, and I felt his love beside me, then when my computer locked up, I would do whatever was needed to get the computer up and running again, but I would not be impatient, not be angry, not be annoyed. I would not feel: "why does this always happen to me".

如果我的烤麵包機發生故障，一大早就燒壞，我不會對著烤麵包機發脾氣。如果在高速公路上遇到塞車，而且有某個非常重要的約會將會因此遲到，我不會失去耐性，就算不耐煩也無法讓我早一點趕到現場。同樣地，如果有某個人打斷我說話，我也不會對他生氣。也就是說，無論對象是人還是東西都沒有差別，我的寬恕學習課程應當盡可能地一體適用、放諸四海皆準。無論有沒有生命，只要是在我們以外會影響我們的任何人事物──讓我們開心、平靜、憤怒、痛苦、快感的──都要算進來。再次強調，這是因為觀念離不開它的源頭。問題在於我們心靈所選擇的分裂之念或罪咎之念。這才是真正的問題，而不是我們所投射的對象。

If my toaster malfunctions, my toaster in the morning is burned, I would not get angry at the toaster. If there's traffic on the highway, I will be late for a very important appointment, I won't be impatient. Being impatient doesn't help me get to the appointment more quickly. If someone cuts me off, I won't be angry at that person. So whether we are talking about a person, or talking about a thing, it should make no difference, so that our forgiveness lessons should become as generalized as we could possibly make them. To include anything outside of us, animate or inanimate, that we believe has an effect on us: making us happy, making as peaceful, making us angry, bringing us pain, bringing us pleasure. Since again, ideas leave not their source. The problem is the idea of separation or the idea of guilt that our mind has chosen. That is the problem, not what gets projected onto.

認識了這一點，不僅能幫助我們拓展對課程形而上概念的理解，還會讓我們更深刻地瞭解如何落實於日常生活；在救贖的道路上也會讓我們加速前行，引領我們回家。

So this will help us really broaden our understanding, not only the Course's metaphysical principles, but certainly broaden our understanding of how they are to be applied in our daily life. And it will really speed us along the atonement path and bring us home.

我們全都一樣：弟兄與我

最近下班後搭捷運時，總喜歡在出站前坐下來看人群。

看著這些來來往往、形形色色的人，

每一個都激起我頭腦中各式各樣的判斷念頭，

然後再看著自己的頭腦聒噪地大發議論，

無論是羨慕、厭煩、恐懼、嫉妒或是對他們身上的某個部份特別有意見，

才驚覺：對於人們，自己埋藏於心中的恨意有多麼深刻。

這就是我無法把大家視為弟兄的原因，

因為我再怎麼看都無法相信我們是一體的，

眼前一具具的身體和不同形貌，就是鐵證如山，證明我們的確是分裂的。

因為我一直都用這具身體的肉眼去看我的弟兄，

所以根本不可能不著重在形式上的不同。

因此聖靈的眼光，一定不會用肉眼去看。

當我不用肉眼去看弟兄，才會真正看見：原來我們並沒有不同，

每個人心中的沮喪、無奈、徬徨，如出一轍；

對愛、溫柔、快樂的渴望也全然一致。

看到自己對弟兄的批判有多麼醜陋時，實在難以不批判自己的批判，

也許只要有身體的一天，我就無法免除判斷，

但我至少可以從不批判自己的判斷開始。
慢慢地，藉由對自己寬容而學會接受聖靈的眼光；

慢慢地，也因此學會對弟兄更寬容，
形式上的歧異便會一點一滴失去吸引力了。

我們全都一樣：耶穌與我

「你不會去愛一個跟自己大不相同的人。
　根據『無明亂世的法則』，如果有人跟我不同，表示他擁有我沒有的東西，
　而且我認定他所有之物必然是從我身上偷走的。
　在西方社會裡，耶穌是『他有而我們沒有』的最大象徵
　──他有上主的愛，我們沒有。
　聖保羅說得很清楚，我們是次等公民，是上帝的養子。
　反之，耶穌是一等公民，天父唯一的愛子。」 (終結對愛的抗拒 p.65-66)

所以當「認出我們全都一樣」時，會是一種多麼大的寬慰啊！
在本質上，每個人都有著最溫柔而仁慈的善意，來自天鄉的光芒；
但最陰暗險惡的兇念，也可能在每個人身上出現。
你有的，我全都有；我有的，你也都有。
因此，沒有必要再判斷誰高誰低。
因為你沒有偷走我所欠缺的，我便不會心生攻擊之念。

耶穌在課程中說：「請記住，我對你象徵什麼，你就會在自己身上看到什麼。」
我心中的耶穌，是個高高在上的聖潔化身，
尤其在我痛苦的時候，祂感覺上更宛若一朵飄浮在天上的純潔白雲，
輕盈美妙、不染塵埃，卻無法幫助我也飛上雲端。
難怪我無法真正將祂視為我的弟兄，因為我內心真是恨透了祂與我的不同，
但我實際上恨的卻只是我看祂的眼光。

我們全都是一樣的，意謂著耶穌和我們無二無別，
祂一樣也有小我，而且還和我的一樣大隻，
只是祂完完全全不與之認同而已，因而能象徵著我們所不熟悉的另一種可能性。
如果我無法接受祂和我一樣，
又怎麼可能接受祂的仁慈與榮耀也是我完全的天賦權利呢？

因此「待人要仁慈」，並不是指我們認定弟兄和自己的悽慘而趕緊相濡以沫。
仁慈在這裡不能看作一項可以去實踐的美德目標，
而是在「認出我們全都一樣」的那一刻，便不可能不仁慈了。

【肯恩影片】待人要仁慈，因為你所遇到的每個人都正在打一場硬仗

【待人要仁慈，因為你所遇到的每個人都正在打一場硬仗】

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"

有一句重要的古希臘哲言，通常被認為出自於哲人斐羅 (Philo)，但有時也會出現在柏拉圖的討論中。它是這麼說的：「待人要仁慈，因為你所遇到的每個人都正在打一場硬仗。」這就是我們今天下午要討論的主題。待人要仁慈，因為你所遇到的每個人都正在打一場硬仗，這個概念當然也能用奇蹟課程的觀點來探討。這句話中有兩個關鍵詞：一個當然是「仁慈」；另一個則是「每個人」──「每個人」都正在打一場硬仗。

There is an important line from the ancient Greeks....it's usually a tribute to Philo but sometimes at the Platonist's object on the workshop on it. It says: "be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." And that's the theme for this afternoon. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle, and that idea certainly could be taken right on the Course in Miracles. There are two key terms in that saying. One is kindness of course: "to be kind". And the other is "everyone": everyone is fighting a hard battle.

在第 182 課「我願安靜片刻，回歸家園」的開頭，就描述了：我們都在打這場硬仗，身處於一個並非家園的世界，在這物質宇宙中，感到自己只是個住在一具身體裡的異鄉人。然而就在我們正念中的某處，我們都知道那不是自己的家，天鄉才是真正的家。而在這個世界中，我們真正的家就在包含了救贖原則的正念當中。它告訴我們，分裂從未發生，因此那分裂一念的投射──這世界──也不曾存在。

The beginning of Lesson 182, "I will be still an instant and go home", is all about how we all fight in the same hard battle of being in a world that is not our home, feeling an alien, in a body and in a physical universe that somewhere inside of us in our right minds, we know that it is not our home. Our real home is heaven. And in this world, our real home is in the right mind that contains with it the principle of atonement, that tells us the separation never happened, and therefore the projection of the separation thought never happened either - the world.

所以整部課程都一直在重複告訴我們，每個人都需要獲得寬恕，因為每個人都在同一條悲慘的船上。教師手冊的前面部分提到，成為上主之師所具備的主要特質就是「把別人的福祉與自己的福祉視為同一回事」(M-1. 1:1-2)。我們當然共享同樣的福祉、同樣的需求，在心靈中具有一樣的目標，相同的意向，也就是認出：我們不是一起回家，就是一起回不了家──因為我們都「同在」一條悲慘的小我之船上。

So throughout the Course, we are told repeatedly that everyone needs to have forgiveness. Everyone is in the same miserable boat. In the teacher's manual, in the beginning we are told that the chief characteristics of a teacher of God, that makes him or her a teacher of God is that they do not see others interests as separated from their own. (M-1. 1:1-2) Of course we all share the same interest, the same need. We have the same end in mind. We have the same purpose that we share. And that is to somehow recognize that we go home together or not at all. That we are all in the same miserable ego boat TOGETHER.

我們由一體而分裂，也終將回歸一體，這就是課程所謂的「基督再度來臨」。但我們必須先在個人層面上做到，才能在集體層面上達成。這也是教師手冊中所說的：拯救世界只需要一位上主之師，因為上主只有一個愛子。每個人都要以一個看似個體的身分，以一個看似分裂的心靈，認出原來我們全都一樣。若聖子奧體中有其中一人承受了我的憤怒、不滿，或特殊性 (特殊之愛與特殊之恨)，就等於是將整個聖子奧體──包括我自己、耶穌和每個我所批判的人──都排除在「免於小我」(ego-free) 的範圍外了。我們全都一樣：既是一樣的小我、也是一樣的聖靈，更具有一樣的心靈力量，在其中做出抉擇。

We separated as one, and we will return as one. That's what the Course calls the "second coming". But before we do that collectively, we need to do that individually. That's what the manual means by saying that there is only one teacher that needs to save the world, because there is only one son. And each of us must do it as a seeming individual, with a seemingly separated mind, recognizing that we are all the same. And to assume one person from the sonship, by virtue of my anger or my displeasure with them, or my specialness - my special love, my special hate, means I exclude the whole sonship - including myself, including Jesus, and including anyone else that I judged to be ego-free. We are all the same - the same ego, the same holy spirit, and the same power to choose between them.

我們所遇到的每個人都正在打一場硬仗，因此我們需要仁慈待人。為何你還要攻擊一個早就不斷在攻擊自己的人呢？他或她不斷攻擊自己，只因為他們深信自己身處於這世界。如果我待你不仁，也必定對自己冷酷無情，因為我們本是一體。觀念離不開它的源頭；投射形成知見，這兩個概念其實親如兄弟。觀念離不開它的源頭。分裂的源頭從未離開心靈的本源，而且對心靈而言世界也不存在。然而當我認為我的心靈中真有那分裂的一念，就會將它投射出去並感知到它，然後相信這投射是真實的。

Everyone we meet is fighting a hard battle. Therefore, we should be kind. Why do you want to attack someone who is already attacking himself? He is attacking himself simply by believing he or she is here. And if I'm unkind to you, I must be unkind to me, because we are all one. The ideas leave not the source; projection makes perception. Both of these are kind of kissing cousins. Ideas leave not their source. The source of separation has never left the source of mind, and in the mind's experience there is no world out there. But when I think there is a separated thought that's real in my mind, and I project it out and that's what I will perceive, believing that the projection works.

我以為如此便能擺脫我看待自己的殘酷眼光。我對自己的苛刻、對造物主與源頭的冷漠無情，卻成了內咎誕生的源頭。這份殘酷埋藏於我的心靈底層中，而我也相信能把它投射出去。正因如此，我便相信可以在別人身上感知到這份殘酷，也因而使他們成了不仁不義之人，並稱之為「罪」。所以，他們不配得到我的仁慈是天經地義，由於他們的不仁不義是生來如此。我卻完全忘了，是自己將他們變得不仁不義的。雖然我無須為其他人選擇了小我而負責，但卻必須為「是我想要他們這麼做的」而負責。況且，在他們身上感知到小我而非正念的人是我，我當然也該負起全責：因為是我將眼光放在小我身上，作為對正念的抵制。

I can get rid of the unkindness towards myself, which is where the guilt is born that I have been unkind to myself, and unkind to my creator and source. That basic unkindness then is in my mind and I believe I can project it out. And because I think I can project it out, I believe I perceive it in others. And I make them unkind, I can it "sin". And therefore they do not deserve my kindness, because they are inherently unkind. And I forget that I've made them unkind. I'm not responsible for the choices of ego the other people make, but I'm responsible for "wanting them to make it". And I'm certainly responsible for perceiving the ego in them instead of seeing the right mind, seeing the ego as the defense against the right mind.

所以我要對每個人仁慈以待，課程中則說得更為明確，是「每個造化」。我要對每個人和一切事物仁慈以待，因為大家都同在一條小我之船上。我相信我們身負背叛了本源的原罪，而內咎則成了鐵證如山，因此我們能逃脫這罪咎的唯一之道就是把它投射出去，讓它遍佈觸目所及之處，卻不在我們身上。

So I should be kind to everyone, well the Course says "every living thing". I should be kind to everyone and everything, because everyone is in the same ego boat. I believe we have sin against our source. Our override is written with guilt, and therefore the only way we can escape from that guilt is to project it out, and see it all around us but no longer in ourselves.

要知道自己已獲得寬恕的方式，就是去力行寬恕；要瞭解我們全都一樣的方式，就是毫無例外地對每個人仁慈。這即是奇蹟沒有難易之分的原因。由此來看，每一份仁慈都是一個奇蹟。每個人都值得我們的仁慈，因為每個人都感到痛苦。每個人都在打同樣的一場硬仗，都努力地試著在這個我們所造出的異鄉世界中活下來，而忘了它原是我們所造的。

So the way I've learned that I'm forgiven is to be forgiving. The way I learned to realize that we are all the same is to be kind to everyone without exception. That's why there is no order of difficulty in miracles. Every kindness in this context is a miracle. And everyone deserves kindness because everyone is in pain. Everyone is fighting the same hard battle of trying to survive in an alien world that we have made up but then have forgotten that we have done it.

容我再說一次，我們全都身處於同一個可悲的情況，誠如第 182 課的開頭所述，耶穌說：「每一個人都知道我們說的是什麼」。每當談論及此，我們的心中都明白，我們都知道自己在這裡是個多麼格格不入的異鄉人。因此，我們都需要寬恕，它慈愛的仁慈之聲會溫柔地告訴我們：這不過是個錯誤，這只是個噩夢。因此，請仁慈待人，因為你所遇到的每一個人都在打一場硬仗──那也是你的硬仗，也是我們的硬仗；因為我們不是一起攜手離開這個戰場，就是共同留在這裡苦戰到底。

We are all in the same, again, terrible situation of the beginning of Lesson 182 describes, that Jesus says: "No one but knows whereof we speak." But when we speak up, we all know. We all are aware of how alien we are. So we all need that loving kindness of forgiveness that tells us that it is just a mistake; it was just a bad dream. So please, be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle - your hard battle, our hard battle. And we leave this hard battle together, or not at all.

正視恐懼

這件事勾起我的嫉妒與不安全感，也不是第一次了，
但事情似乎一步步朝向我所害怕的方向而發展，令我更加難受。

我看著自己試圖以各種隱微的方式操縱事情的走向，
試探對方的反應，好似溺水的人慌張掙扎，亂抓一氣，
即使知道我所能抓住的只是無濟於事的稻草或小樹枝，
仍然無法停止想抓住什麼的衝動。
我知道那就是我的防衛措施。

那麼我想掩蓋的到底是什麼？
我狠下心來去看深處的答案，
在這件事的背後，我最恐懼會發生的會是什麼？
清晰無比的聲音在心中浮現：「我會被否定、被拋棄，因為我不夠好。」
隨之而來的是一股強大而原始的痛苦與內咎。

我發現不只在感情上，在工作上我也同樣因這個聲音而顫抖，
在試用期間，時時刻刻擔心自己表現不夠好，
深怕某天主管告訴我：
「很抱歉，你的表現不符合我們的期待，必須和你中止合作。」
(事後回想其實就算中止合作也不是世界末日，但當下卻如同人生會毀滅一般)
即使這和他們告訴我的是兩回事，
這恐懼仍然像鬼魅般不肯放過我，不時在心頭縈繞，像隻驚弓之鳥，
在這劇碼中狂熱地扮演受害者的角色，不遺餘力，無可自拔。

我看到自己是如何根深蒂固地認為自己不值得愛，(真是太驚人了)
因此即使我是如此執迷於展現自己的獨特性，追求別人的認同，
但就算得到別人再多的肯定我都不願相信，
因為我內心清楚：
「你們看到的都只是我的演技，
如果讓你們看到我的真面目，你們根本不可能還會愛我。」

就在此刻，我知道這事件最後無論如何發展，都已經不是重點了。
那些戲碼所要告訴我的事情已經呼之欲出：
聖靈，我該如何寬恕自己？
以理性試圖質疑或和那個聲音溝通，沒有太大的作用，
太多次我看到自己的情緒體與理性頭腦同時分開作用了。
我想用祢的眼光來看這一切，以我的眼光來看只是死路一條。
我再也不想在這些事件中，只教導我的弟兄恐懼。

沒有回應。
而我只是靜靜坐在那裡，試著不像從前一樣轉頭逃開。
然後一種「即使是這樣也沒有關係」的感覺悄悄浮上心頭，
在那短暫的一刻中，我發現原來那就是另一種眼光，溫柔而令人安心。

【肯恩影片】 觀看小我

【觀看小我】

"Looking at the ego" 

A major thing with the Course, in fact, is the kernel of forgiveness, is that we look at the ego, and we look at the ego without judging it. That's why I want to talk about the potential for that concept to be to a two-edged sword. I'm meaning while on the one hand, it really is the way of getting past the ego - that's the major, major thing of the Course, and have Jesus's teaching to us and his guidance to us. On the other hand, one can fall in a trap of becoming so enamored of the ego, that one just keeps looking, and looking, and looking, and never letting it go.

課程中一個很重要的主題，就是寬恕的核心意義，意即看著小我而不加以判斷。這個概念宛如雙面刃般，具有潛在的危險，也是我今天想談談這個主題的原因。它一方面的確是讓我們穿越小我的途徑──這是課程中極為重要的部分，並且一路上有耶穌的教導和指引伴隨我們同行。另一方面，我們也可能因為持續地注視、不停地注視小我，而無法抽離，導致受其魅惑而跌入難以自拔的陷阱當中。

I remember when we were in Roskow, when we have our conference center in Roskow, which was on a lovely lake. And I used an example once in the class, because the conference overlooked the lake. And I said as if we jump into the water and our goal is to get to the other side, which is ultimately the real world, and forgiveness being one process to swim across the lake. The lake being the image of the ego's thought system, and again forgiveness helps us get through it. But the danger is that when one jumps into the water and begins to kind of go down in the water to the bottom of the lake, one can be so enamored of the underwater life, the foam and the different fish, etc., that one forgets that the goal is to get to the other side. And that's the danger of looking at the ego.

我還記得我們在德國羅斯科 (Roskow) 的會議，會議中心就在一座美麗的湖上。由於在那會議上我們可以鳥瞰整片湖泊，因此我在課堂上曾舉過一個例子：假設我們縱身跳進水裡，目標是抵達象徵著真實之境的對岸，而寬恕就是我們橫越湖泊游到對岸的過程。這座湖的意象代表著小我的思想體系，而寬恕則是讓我們抵達對岸的方式。然而我們可能會遇到一個危機，在跳入水中之後，就不知不覺地游向水深之處，直往湖底游去。水底的世界，無論是泡沫也好，或是各式各樣的魚群等等，都可能讓我們深深著迷，而遺忘了自己的目標是對面的岸上。這就是觀看小我可能的危險之處。

What we forget so often is no matter how horrific the ego's thought system is, and nonetheless, it is our thought system. It's a thought system not only that we have embraced by believing it, it's the thought system we have identified with. So in fact, as the story of Narcissus in the famous Greek myth, we look at our image in the water, and we don't take our eyes off it. And we end up starving to death, because we don't want to do anything but just look at this wonderful image of ourselves in the water, not thinking it first it's ourselves.

無論小我的思想體系多麼驚悚恐怖，我們仍舊如此健忘，然而那終究都是我們的思想體系。藉著相信這個思想體系，我們不只欣然擁抱了它，還深深與之認同。因此，正如同著名希臘神話中的美少年納西瑟斯 (Narcissus) 一般，我們便這麼看著自己在水中的倒影，而難以將目光抽離。由於除了盯著水中自己那美妙的身影之外什麼也不想做，最後將因此餓死，甚至從未意識到那身影其實是我們自己。

In the senses that we often do with the ego, we become intrigued by the ego. And we become intrigued by the complexity, the subtlety, the different ways that the ego works, and indeed the different ways that the ego seems to satisfy our needs through our special love relationships, indeed for our special hate relationships as well. Since we all love to hate and to judge, that we forget the purpose is to look at these and declare their lack of reality, their fundamental lack of existence. And instead, by constantly looking, we can end up making them real.

當我們經常和小我一起判斷，就會逐漸被它吸引，為小我那複雜、微妙與充滿歧異的作用方式而著迷。小我的確看似透過愛的特殊關係──當然也透過恨的特殊關係──而滿足了我們的需求。我們是多麼喜愛憎恨與判斷，因而遺忘了自己的目的原是看著它們而昭告其虛幻性、宣告它們根本就不存在，反而卻因不斷地觀看而將它們信以為真。

What helps us not fall into that trap is to continue hear Jesus say to us: not only that the ego is X, Y and Z, and I want you to really understand why we choose X, Y and Z, but to recognize the cost to us when we choose the ego's X, Y and Z. It's the thought system of separation, specialness, and judgement - and also pain, suffering and death. That the reason for is that we are afraid of disappearing into the heart of God. We are afraid of losing this special, individual, unique self that we called by our own name.

若要避免掉入那陷阱之中，就必須持續傾聽耶穌對我們所說的：我希望你們不只要瞭解小我是「這」和「那」，且真正明白自己為何選擇了「這」和「那」；同時還要認清當我們選擇了「這」和「那」的同時，自己付出的代價究竟是什麼。這不只是分裂、特殊性和判斷的思想體系，同時也是痛苦、折磨和死亡的思想體系。原來，我們恐懼的是最終將消融於上主心中，我們害怕的是失落那以我們的名字所稱呼的特殊、獨立而唯一的自己。

And so it's not only looking at the ego with Jesus that is important, it's also recognizing the cost to us of remaining with the ego. This will help then overturn what the ego is trying to have us do, to become so enamored of it that we never let it go. Jesus's wanting us to recognize that what we want to do is to look at the ego, and once again realized the cost to us of still remaining in the ego.

因此，與耶穌一起觀看小我不僅相當重要，還能讓我們認出和小我沆瀣一氣而付出的代價。如此便有助於逆轉小我企圖引誘我們去做的事，也就是為它迷亂而不願放手。耶穌希望我們認出，自己真正所願的即是看著小我，而同時明瞭若繼續和它一個鼻孔出氣，必須付出什麼代價。

So yes, we do want to look at the ego, we do want to understand the purpose that the ego has served in our lives by maintaining and preserving our special identity, but we also want to be in touch with what it is costing us. Nothing in this world can make us happy. Nothing in this world can truly ease the pain of feeling alone, alienated in an unkind hostile world. Nothing in this world can give us the peace of God. Nothing of the ego's thought system would ever give us what we truly want. And it's recognizing that and our looking at that with Jesus right beside us, that we realize that "I don't want to keep swimming in this water. I want to get to the other side. I don't want to keep diving deeper and deeper into the ego's thought system."

沒錯，我們的確要觀看小我，的確要瞭解小我在我們生命中的目的，意即維繫與保護我們的特殊身份；但我們也必須意識到自己因此而犧牲了什麼。這裡的一切都無法讓我們幸福，無法真正安撫我們身處於一個無情而充滿敵意的世界中、那既孤獨又疏離的痛楚。這世界不可能給我們上主的平安，因為在小我的思想體系中，我們無法得到自己所真正渴望的。在耶穌的陪同觀看下認識到這一點，我們便會體悟到：「我再也不想繼續在這水中瞎攪和了，對岸才是我真正想去的地方。我並不想在這小我的思想體系中愈潛愈深。」

In fact, we are cautioned in one passage that Jesus subtly described a Freud's thought system, because Freud was brilliant in describing the intricacies of the ego's thought system, that he called something else, but all the different ways that the ego's thought system works in the unconscious and burrow its way up into our conscious awareness. And in the text, Jesus is telling us: "You don't have to do this. You don't have to look to all the complexity of the ego's thought system. We simply look at it, recognize the purpose that it serves, and say: I don't want this anymore." But we cannot say that, unless we compare choosing to remain in the water and exploring all this vast and fascinating underwater life, contrasting how wonderful it will feel to continue to swim across and get to the other side. And when we get to the other side, we realize that there is no lake to even swim across. There was no water; there was no underwater life. The whole thing was just a silly charade (易識破的偽裝), also a fantasy that never happened.

事實上，耶穌曾在某個段落中提醒我們這件事，而祂略為敘述了佛洛伊德的思想體系。雖然佛洛伊德使用的是不同的名稱，但他將小我思想體系的錯綜複雜描繪得絲絲入扣，包括它是如何隱伏在潛意識之中，又是如何冒出我們的意識覺察層面等各式各樣的運作方式。在正文中，耶穌告訴我們：「你無須這麼做，無須去深入觀看小我思想體系錯綜複雜的一切。我們只要看著它，認出它的目的，然後說：『我再也不想要這個了。』」然而，若我們不對「留在水中探索廣大而令人目不暇給的水底世界」以及「繼續向前游至對岸所帶來的快樂美好」兩相比較，就不可能說出這句話。抵達對岸時，我們會發現原來根本沒有一片需要去橫越的湖泊，因為水根本就不存在，當然也就沒有水底世界。整件事只是個癡傻的幌子，也是個未曾發生過的幻覺。

So finally again, in order to attain our ultimate goal of the real world, is to look at the ego's thought system, realize the cost to us ever happened is peace, and then say "this is no longer what I wish."

總而言之，若我們想要到達真實之境的目的地，就必須看著小我的思想體系，瞭解到自己所為此犧牲的就是平安，然後便能說出：「這再也不是我心所願」。

【肯恩影片】小我擅於分析，聖靈只是接納

【小我擅於分析，聖靈只是接納】

"The ego analyzes; the Holy Spirit accepts"

今天早上我們要談的是課程中的一個句子：「小我擅於分析，聖靈只是接納。(T-11 V. 13: 1)」。小我用來對抗上主──如同它對抗我們做決定的心靈一般──最大的武器之一就是「判斷」。判斷總是和分析攜手共進，而與判斷和分析並肩同行的則是神智不清，我們根本無法了解這世界、我們的生活究竟是怎麼一回事、為何我們或身邊的人會做出某些事情、或為何我們所選出來的政府官員會做出某些事情。我們總是在試圖分析、了解、判斷。而這正是小我的策略，為了讓我們以為這裡有某些頭號重要的事情，讓我們以為自己可以理解這世界的某些事，並且認為它們合理有意義 (sense)。然而事實真相是，真正有意義的即是「這裡的一切都沒有意義」，因為當初造出這世界的用意就是為了要將我們阻隔於真正的意義 (Sense) 之外。

This morning we will talk about a sentence in the Course that says "The ego analyzes; the Holy Spirit accepts. (T-11 V. 13: 1)" One of the ego's major weapons in its war against God, as if its war against the decision-making part of our mind, is "judgement". And judgement and analysis go hand in hand. And along side and side of the judgement and analysis is the insanity that we can't possibly understand what goes on in this world. That we can't possibly understand what goes on in our world. That we don't understand why we do things, why people around do things, why people be elected to public office do things, and we're always trying to analyze, to understand, to judge. And all this is nothing more or less than an ego ploy, that keeps us thinking that there is something here number one to there is something here in this world that we can understand and make sense of. But the truth of matter is the only thing that makes sense is that nothing here makes sense. Because the whole world was made to keep Sense away from us.

另一方面，「聖靈只是接納」，意思是並不試圖做任何了解或分析，無論我們面臨什麼情況、環境、事件或人際關係，聖靈唯一鼓勵我們做的只是去接納這一切都是我們的選擇。因此真正重要的問題是：我們究竟選擇以聖靈的眼光還是小我的眼光，來看這個事件、情況、人際關係。如果我們以小我的眼光來看，那麼我們又再次遭受誘惑，試圖去理解，並將所發生的事情賦予意義。也就是說，與這世界的事物建立關係唯一有意義的方式──尤其是我們在此的人際關係──就是問自己：現在我正以平安的眼光，還是判斷的眼光在看這件事？

On the other hand, "the holy spirit accepts", meaning that without trying to understand or analyze anything, all that the holy spirit tries to have us do is whenever we are confronted by in advance a situation, circumstance, occurrence or relationship, that we simply accept that this is what we have chosen. And the only thing that is important at this point is whether we choose to look at the event, situation, relationship through the holy spirit's eyes, or through the eyes of the ego. And if we look through the eyes of the ego, once again, we are always tempted to try to make sense of what is going on. In other words, the only meaningful way of relating to anything in this world, and especially our relationships in this world, is "do I look at this situation through the eyes of peace, or through the eyes of judgement?"

以下是在課程完成筆錄的幾年前，耶穌給海倫的重要訊息一部分。當她問耶穌：「面對這個需要幫助的人，我應該怎麼回答？」祂回覆：「別去問你應該說什麼，而是要請我協助你重新以平安的眼光、而非判斷的眼光來看待這個人。」也就是說，如實接納當下的情況，並不試圖判斷、評估或賦予意義。「進入你的內在，到我所在之處，」耶穌告訴海倫，「感受我的愛、接納我的愛，而後充滿愛的回覆自然會在你的所思、所感、所言、所做之中，透過你而給出。」耶穌之後還說：「一切的協助都會讓天堂中的所有天使來助你一臂之力」，這裡的意思是指你不是先接受了小我，而是在心靈中已接納的愛，這份愛自會引導你如何說、如何做。

This is part of an important message that Helen has received from Jesus a number of years after the Course was finished or being in scribe. When Helen has asked Jesus "What should I say to this person who is in need or help?" And Jesus's answer was "Don't ask what you should say, ask instead that I help you look at this person again through the eyes of peace and not judgement." In other words, accept the situation as it is, and don't try to judge, or evaluate, or make sense of it, "go within where I am", Jesus was telling Helen, "experience my love, accept my love, and the loving answer will come through you, in something that you think, something that you feel, something that you say, something that you do." In fact, after that since Jesus said and then "all the help have had all the angels of heaven come to your aid", meaning that the love in your mind that you have accepted, rather than having prior accepted the ego. That love will guide whatever you say and do.

我先前提到去接納一切狀況都是我們的選擇，指的是課程中的一個基本概念，也就是時間在根本上的非真實性：時間並非線性，且一切都已經發生。我並不打算要在此深入這個概念，但重點在於每天我們在此所經歷的一切只是一部編寫完成的劇碼，亦即所謂「在腦海裡重溫一遍陳年往事而已 (M-158. 4:5)。」因此重要的不是我們選擇了什麼、其他人選擇了什麼、或者為何事情發生在我們身上，而是一旦我們面臨某些情況時，做出唯一有意義的選擇：究竟要透過平安的眼光、還是判斷的眼光來看這件事。這個事件究竟要成為我可從中學習的功課，好讓我過得更快樂；還是要來強化我的焦慮、緊張和內咎呢？

I said a moment ago that we simply accept that the situation is what we have chosen, I'm informing a more basic teaching of the Course of the fundamental unreality of time, that time is not linear and that everything has already happened. I'm not going to any depth of this morning with you, but the idea is that every day that we experience here is simply as a repertoire since says, a "reviewing mentally of what has already gone by (M-158. 4:5)". All that's important is not we have chosen something, why someone else has chosen something, why things happen to us, all that's important once again is that once we are confronted by the situation that our only meaningful choice is whether I look at this through the eyes of peace, or the eyes of judgement. Does this situation call for a lesson that my learning it will make me happy, or it would reinforce my anxiety, my tension and my guilt?

在課堂上提到這個時，我經常舉的一個例子是，當我在高速公路上開車時遇到爆胎的情況，問題不是「為何我會爆胎」、「為何某個人要把它放在那裡」或「為何我會吸引到這根釘子」等等。當我的車爆胎時，我想的是「輪胎必須更換」，那麼接下來是否要自己更換，還是要打電話給 A 修車廠、B 修車廠還是 C 修車廠請他們協助我。重要的是，我進行一切動作時是基於平安的心態，而不是焦慮、緊張、憤怒或沮喪等等。

An example I frequently use when I make this point in classes, is that when I find myself driving on the highway and I get a flat tire, that the issue is not why I got the flat tire, why did somebody put it out there, and why I attract the nail, on and on and on. All what's important is that once there is a flat tire to my car, that I think to it the tire to be changed whether I do it myself, or call for Triple A or Pasi Motors to help me. All that matters is that I do so peacefully instead of anxiety, tension, anger, or depression, etc.

因此換言之，我們的度日之道就是試著去認出外頭的一切無法以任何方式傷害我們，而盡可能地保持平安。一旦我得以從「試圖去了解分析這一切」的磨人重擔中解脫，並接納聖靈的修正時，無論週遭發生的一切如何，無論我自以為的理解如何，我的生活仍會充滿寧靜的喜悅。

So in other words, the way we go through our day is try to be as peaceful as possible, recognizing that nothing outside of us can affect us in any way. Once I'm free from that terrible burden I'm trying to understand and analyze what is going on, and why is going on, and how I should respond in form based on what's going on. Once I can accept that, and accept the holy spirit's correction instead, then my life would be a quiet joy, regardless of what's going on around me, regardless of what I think I understand.

我想以耶穌所說的另一個段落來結尾：「你寧可相信自己的了解具有左右真理的力量，真理全靠你的了解才可能成真 (T-18 IV. 7:5)」。因此「身為知識分子，我要試著分析並了解發生的一切」，這是你應放下的選擇。再次提醒，你一切所需的只是靜靜地接納真相，而真相即為練習手冊第 5 課所言：「我絕不是為了我所認定的理由而煩惱」，以及第 34 課「即使在這事上，我仍能看到平安」。

I'm going to conclude by citing another passage what Jesus says that "You are still convinced that your understanding is a powerful contribution to the truth, and makes it what it is. (T-18 IV. 7:5)" So that's a selection put down for all, "I would be intellectual, who again tries to analyze and understand what's going on." All that needed once again is that quiet acceptance of the truth. And the truth is "I am never upset for the reason I think", as Lesson 5 says, and "I can see peace instead of this", Lesson 34.

【肯恩影片】我這麼做都是小我害的！

【我這麼做都是小我害的！】

The ego made me do it!

今天早上我們要談的是：「我這麼做都是小我害的」(the ego made me do it)，當然這個句子是由大家所熟知的句子「我這麼做都是魔鬼害的」(the devil made me do it) 而來。某些人可能很常開玩笑地這樣說，然而這卻是一種規避責任的說法。奇蹟課程中其中一個關鍵課題就是：我們應當對自己的每一項所思、所感、所言、所行負責。雖然世界可能侵害和影響我們的身體，決定它的行為，然而最終一切的源頭仍是心靈，因為身體並不在心靈之外，而世界也不可能在想出它來的思想體系以外。

This morning we are going to talk about "the ego made me do it". It is of course a phrase more well-known as "the devil made me do it". Some people may use it facetiously very often. It's used as a way of avoiding responsibility. And one of the key themes in A Course in Miracles, is that we are responsible for every single thing we think, feel, say and do. While the world might certainly impinge on our bodies and affect our bodies, determine how our bodies act, in the end, this is the mind that is the source of everything, because there is no body outside of the mind, and there is no world outside of the thought system that thought it up.

課程學員經常訴諸於「我這麼做都是小我害的」這句話，例如「我不知道它為什麼發生了，我不知道我為何感到如此沮喪，也不瞭解自己為何總如此生氣.....都是我的小我害我的！」這句話還有另一個變化形，例如到基金會參與我們關於「抉擇者」討論的人，就說「我這麼做都是抉擇者害的」。換言之，「我不只是魔鬼或小我的受害者，現在我還是抉擇者手下的受害者」，事實上抉擇者也只是「小我」的另一個迂迴說法而已，同樣是以一種相當幽微的方式企圖逃避我們心靈力量應擔負的選擇責任。小我之所以可以驅使我這麼做，是因為我那做出抉擇的心靈選擇了小我，而我們就成為了小我。我們就是那小我，因為小我並不是一種獨立個體。

So the idea that the ego made me do it, which very often Course students will resort to it when "I don't know how this happened, I don't know why I'm feeling so depressed, I don't know why I always get so angry....my ego made me do it!" A variation of this of course, especially of you who come to the foundation where we speak about the decision-maker are, as it's "my decision maker made me do it". In other words, "I'm not only the victim of the devil, or the ego. I'm now a victim of the decision maker", which seems to be only more sophisticated version of ego, very subtly attempt to try to get us avoid all responsibility for our power of mind to choose. The ego can make me do it, because while my decision-making self, our decision-making mind chooses the ego, we become the ego. We are the ones who are the ego. The ego is not a separate entity.

在正文前面部分有一個段落，耶穌就特別提出了這點，而且祂幾乎是向我們這些學員致歉，由於祂談論小我的方式，感覺像是在談論一個獨立於我們的東西 (註)。在提及聖靈時也是一樣，這是為了達到教學目的，協助我們能認出自己就是那做抉擇的心靈，而抉擇的力量就在兩個思想體系之間：不是根基於分裂、攻擊和判斷的小我體系，就是根基於修正、寬恕、治癒的聖靈體系。這就是我們的抉擇，中間沒有任何其他選項。在正文 30 章開頭的段落說得非常清楚，我們總得做選擇，而我們只能選擇聖靈或小我之一，沒有其他可能性。我們必須選擇，而這就是我們所有的選項。

(註：「我在談論小我時，好似在說一個獨立自主之物。我必須如此，才能說服你切莫對它掉以輕心，我必須讓你意識到，你的想法如何受制於小我。(T-4 VI. 1:3-4)」)

There is a passage early on the text, which Jesus actually specifically refers to this, and he kind of virtually apologizes to us the students, for talking about the ego as if we are separate things acting on its own (T-4 VI. 1:3). And he does this, just as it does the exact thing with the holy spirit, for pedagogical purposes as the way of helping us to recognize that we are our decision-making mind, and the power of decision rests between two thought systems: the ego's system of separation, attack and judgement, and the holy spirit's thought system of correction, forgiveness and healing. And that is the choice. There is no other alternatives to choose between. The section about the decision at the beginning of the Chapter 30 in the text makes it very very clear. We always have to choose, and we can only choose between the ego and the holy spirit. And there is no other possibility. We have to choose, and these are all the things we can choose.

因此，談論小我和聖靈時，好似把它們當成獨立個體，彷彿聖靈是另一個人一樣，這可以讓我們更容易感受自己在兩種思想體系間做抉擇的力量。然而這樣總有風險，這也是耶穌表達歉意的原因，因為這種說法也可能遭到錯用，又讓我們認為「這麼做都是小我害的」，好似我們不是自己的小我，好似有某種外在的力量佔據了我──這種說法近似於幾世紀以來基督徒所說的「我這麼做都是魔鬼害的」或者「這不是我的錯，因為我沉睡了而是魔鬼驅使我這麼做的；一切的發生不是我的錯，是魔鬼出於嫉妒我們和上主或耶穌的關係而做；我只是某種超乎我掌控之力量的受害者」。從內涵的觀點而言，這與課程學員所說「我這麼做都是小我害的」，幾乎是如出一轍。

So speaking about the ego and the holy spirit, as if they are separate entities, in the case the holy spirit is a separate person, makes it easier to kind of get in touch with the fact that we really have the power to choose between these two thoughts. But there is always a danger, which is why Jesus makes an apology, because it can lend itself, once again trying to think "the ego made me do it", as if I'm not my ego, as if some kind of alien power took over from me - no different than from how Christians was talking about for centuries: "the devil made me do it", or "it's not my fault. I slept and the devil pushed me. It's not my fault that this happened, it's the devil doing it. The devil is jealous of our relationship with God or Jesus, and somehow I'm the victim of a power beyond my control." And from the point of view of content, this is not different when Course students say "ego made me do it".

由於在我們的心靈以外，並沒有其他力量可左右我們的選擇，因此這裡的重點應該是如何接受「我們必須完全為自己的感受與想法負責」的事實。當然對學員來說，這是課程中相當困難的部分，因為這就解釋了我們為何應該對自己的感受負起完全責任。我們再也不能以任何合理化的心態聲稱世界在自己之外，而且我們是它的受害者。我們便瞭解了練習手冊中所說的：「我不是眼前世界的受害者 (M-31)。」

So the point of doing all this is really how does it accept the fact that we are totally responsible for everything we feel, everything we think? There is no power outside of our mind, that can determine what we choose. And of course this is a part of the Course that is particularly difficult for students, because it does explain total responsibility on our feeling. We can no longer claim with any sense of justification that we are the victims of the world outside of us. So we are knowing as the workbook says: "I am not a victim of the world I see (M-31)".

這就是獲得救贖的核心重點，如第 27 章所說，你所做的一切都是對自己所做的。這是我們所做的抉擇。我無須向這世界的小我負責，也無須向你的小我對我或其他人所做的事負責，但我卻完完全全必須對我回應你的方式負責。正文中的句子「我應對我所看見的一切負責。(T-21 II. 2:3)」，並非要我對我眼前所見的一切負起責任，而是要對我所看待它的方式負責。我的心靈要我的頭腦對所接收到的資料詮釋意義，而我必須對心靈所選擇的方式負責。

The secret of salvation is but this as in Chapter 27 says, that you are doing this to yourself. We are doing this. It's our decision. I'm not responsible for the egos of the world; I'm not responsible for what your ego does to me or those people I identify with. But I'm totally responsible for how I respond to you. So that line in the text that "I'm responsible for what I see (T-21 II. 2:3)" does not make me responsible for what my eyes literally see. I'm responsible for the way I see it. I'm responsible for the way my mind tells my brain to interpret the sense of data that we are being input with.

「我應對我所看見的一切負責」的意思是，世界在我眼中究竟是充滿敵意、既邪惡又墮落，或者是因呼求我的寬恕而來？而我所看這世界的眼光，直接來自於我所選擇認同的思想體系，意即我所選擇來指引自己的教師。因此，我這麼做絕不可能「都是小我害的」，永遠是我們那做抉擇的心靈，也就是我們自己。在我們那做抉擇的心靈所選擇做出的夢境中，我們就是那抉擇的心靈，而它只會選擇自己所願相信的：分裂的思想體系與由此而生的世界，抑或是幫助我們從夢中醒覺並重返天鄉的寬恕思想體系。

"I'm responsible for what I see", meaning do I see the world as hostile, and evil, and vicious, or do I see the world that is called it up for forgiveness. And the way I see the world will directly come from the thought system I choose to identify with, which means the teacher I choose to make my guide. So it's never "the ego made me do it", it's always my decision-making mind, that is who I am. Within the dream we are decision-making mind, as what my decision-making mind chose, and it chooses what it wants to believe in: the thought system of separation and the world that arises from it, or the thought system of forgiveness that helps us awaken from this dream and return home.