【肯恩影片】喜好與熱中的差別

【喜好與熱中的差別】

"Difference between Preferences and Investments"

今天我們要討論的是「喜好」 (preferences) 與「熱中」 (investments) 的差別。在正文前面的第二章之中，就告訴我們不要否認這物質世界中的體驗。事實上，耶穌甚至說：我們根本無法這麼做，而如此行使否認的能力也是最不值得的。(T-2. IV. 3:10-11) 因為即使身體只是幻相，且我們在情緒上和物質上以身體感知的一切也是幻相，但我們仍然相信自己是一具身體，相信自己正在學習一本由耶穌口授、海倫筆錄，名叫《奇蹟課程》的書。課程也是幻相的一部分，因為它同樣屬於知見和二元對立的範圍。但耶穌也告訴我們，不要去否認這一切、否認自己的體驗，而是要經由我們的正念、而非妄念，去經驗這一切。所以重點並非放下或捨棄身體──在整個過程的最後，當我們認出這世界 (包括我們個人的體驗) 只是一場夢境時，那便會自然發生。

Today we are going to discuss the difference between preferences and investments. We are told early in a section of Chapter 2 that we are not to deny our physical experiences in this world. In fact, Jesus tells us that would be practically impossible to do so, and would be an inappropriate use of denial. (T-2. IV. 3:10-11) The reason for that being even though the body is an illusion and everything we experience as a body, both emotionally and physically, is an illusion. Nonetheless, we believe our bodies. We are students of a book calls "A Course in Miracles", dictated by Jesus to Helen. So everything about the Course is part of the illusion - it's perceptual; it's dualistic. And we are certainly asked not to deny any of these. And again, we are not asked to deny our experiences, rather what we are asked to do is to let these experiences come from our right mind, rather than our wrong mind. So again, we are not talking about letting go of our bodies. That will happen at the very very end of the process when we recognize that the entire world is a dream, including our individual experience.

因此，在實際層面上探討「喜好」與「熱中」的差別，對我們會有所幫助。讓我舉個自己的例子，可以更清楚地說明。當我和我兄弟還小時，曾和父母一起到加拿大旅行。我們抵達蒙特羅的時候，已經是星期天的深夜，超過晚上 11 點鐘。當我們在落腳的汽車旅館準備就寢時，我母親發現她沒有水果可以吃。對她而言，在睡前若不吃點水果──蘋果、橘子、梨子之類──便會無法入眠，那已是她晚間習慣的一部分了。對於沒有水果可吃，她感到惶恐；因此我和我父親便在過了 11 點鐘的深夜裡再度出門。然而在那個時代，還沒有 7-11 或其他便利商店，店家全都關門了。我還記得，我們開著車毫無目的地穿梭在蒙特羅的街道上，為我母親尋覓她的水果。最後我們徒勞無功，空手而歸。而我可憐的母親沒水果吃，還是只好上床睡覺。這就是「熱中」的心態。若你說：「除非某件事發生，否則我活不下去、睡不著覺、開心不起來、內心無法平靜」，這便是我們所謂特殊關係以及「特別關注某事」的另一種說法。

So it's helpful to speak on a practical level of the difference between having an investment on something, or having a preference. Let me give you a personal example of this, which kind of makes a point very well. When we were children - my brother and I, my parents and us had taken a trip to Canada. We arrived very very late, and that was a Sunday night, it was after 11 o'clock in Montreal. We were in the motel ready to go to sleep, and my mother realized she did not have a piece of fruit. For my mother, it was part of her night time habitual that she could not go to sleep without having some piece of fruit - an apple, orange, pear or something. She was horrified that she did not have this piece of fruit, so my father and I went out after 11 o'clock at night, but this was the time when we did not have 7-11 or convenient stores. Nothing was open. I remember driving through the streets of Montreal - we did not know where we were going, of course - and trying to find my mother a piece of fruit. We tried in vain, so we eventually came back to the motel empty-handed, and my poor mother had to go to sleep without a piece of fruit. That's an investment. When you say "I cannot survive, I cannot go to sleep, I cannot be happy, I cannot be at peace, unless something happens". This is just another way we talk about the special relationships and special investments.

另一方面，「喜好」則是另一回事。沒錯，我的確偏好在睡前吃點水果，但如果沒有水果可吃，也不是世界末日。我的確偏好在餐廳用餐時來點甜點，而且想吃的是香草冰淇淋而不是草莓冰淇淋。如果我對此事抱持熱中心態，則可能會氣沖沖地離開餐廳，直奔最近的冰淇淋店，給自己買一支香草冰淇淋。但若我抱持的是喜好心態，便會說：「是的，我想要吃的是香草冰淇淋，但如果你們沒有供應的話，請問還可以點什麼？」這是一種生活在這世界上更實際、更理智、更有愛心也更仁慈的方式。我的確偏好和那些認為我人很好的人們往來，而不是和那些對我有意見的人在一起。但如果我抱持的是熱中心態，便會避開所有不喜歡我的人，會因別人對我的負面言論而抓狂，也會覺得全人類都難以相處。因為人們多半不會認同這世界以我為中心，也不會如此對待我。

A preference, on the other hand, is something else. Yes, my preference would be to have a piece of fruit before I go to sleep, but if I don't have a piece of fruit, it's not the end of the world. Yes, my preference would be to have dessert in the restaurant, and have vanilla ice cream instead of strawberry. So if I have investment, I may storm out of the restaurant, go to the nearest Ben and Jerry's or whatever, and have myself a vanilla ice cream. A preference will simply say: "Yes, I'd like to have vanilla ice cream. But if you don't have that, what do you have?" That's a more sensible, common-sensed, and more loving, kind approach to how we live in this world. Yes, my preference would be to be with people who think I'm a good person, rather than to be with a person who doesn't think I'm a good person. But if I have an investment, then I will avoid all the people who don't like me. I will take offense at anything negative anybody says about me, and I will find it very difficult towards the human race. Because most people either would not think I'm the center of the universe as I think I am, and they would not treat me as such.

有喜好則是無傷大雅的。事實上，只要有一具身體，就不可能沒有喜好。關於襯衫、上衣、毛衣、褲子、裙子的顏色，我們都各有愛好。那不代表我們所愛好的顏色是全世界唯一適合自己、或在自己身上最完美的顏色，而是穿著這些顏色純粹讓我們感覺舒服。因此，我們應當要察覺自己關於某些事物「不能沒有你」的熱中心態。再次強調，這即是特殊性的另一種說法。因為某些事物絕不可妥協，我們便會毫不留情地除去每一個阻擋我路的人、佔人便宜、利用或虐待他人、甚至不惜犧牲別人，只為滿足自己的需要。

So again, it's fine to have preferences. In fact, one cannot be in a body without a preference. We all have preferences for the color of shirts, blouses, sweaters, slacks and skirts that we would wear. But that doesn't mean the color that we prefer is the only color in the world for us, or the best color in the world for us. It simply means that's what makes me feel comfortable. So what we want to do is to be aware of the investments we have in things "having to be different". Again, this is another word for specialness. Things having to be different and then running over everybody, taking advantage of other people, using, abusing, victimizing people, so our needs are met.

當我們有所察覺，甚至在最細微、看似無害的形式中意識到這一點時，那便是我們要向耶穌求助的：將我們認同此事的熱中心態轉換為純粹的喜好。若事情並未以這個方式解決，便會以另一種方式解決；無論我的需求是否實現，我都能感到平安；無論我吃的冰淇淋是香草、巧克力還是草莓口味，無論我的衣著是不是某個顏色，我都能感到從容平靜；無論人們是不是以我喜歡或想要的方式來對待我，我依然可以心懷仁慈、以愛待人。

When we become aware of this, even in the simplest form, seemingly innocuous form - that's what we want to ask Jesus for help, that we shift our identification from this as an investment to simply being a preference. And if things don't work out one way, then work out another way. Regardless of the externalization of my neediness, I could be at peace. So regardless if I have vanilla or chocolate or strawberry ice cream, regardless if I'm wearing a certain color, I can still be at peace. Regardless of people acting towards me in the way that I like or demand, I could still be loving, I could still be kind.

因此，一切的關鍵就是：選擇「喜好心態」的隨和溫柔，而非由堅持滿足「熱中心態」而生的強硬、甚至殘酷。這不僅是仁慈、溫和與強硬、攻擊，或耶穌與小我之間的抉擇，也確實是選擇了天堂或地獄的差別。

So the key in everything is to choose the gentleness of preference over and above the hardness - sometimes even cruelty - of insisting on meeting our investments. It's the decision not only between kindness and gentleness, and hardness and attack; between the ego and Jesus. It's really the difference between choosing heaven or hell.

註：關於 "Investment" 在正文中的段落，可參考正文第 12 章第参節「投資真相」。文中提到：「堅持意味著一種投注，你投注什麼，常與你的救恩觀念有關。」(Insistence means investment, and what you invest in is ALWAYS related to your notion of salvation.) (T-12. III. 2:5) 肯恩這邊的意思更接近一種「熱中、依賴、執著」的狀態──由於我們對於特殊的人事物投注了特別多注意力而產生的結果──故譯為「熱中」。