有時沒來由地感到煩悶、無趣、不快樂
眼中的世界、自己的生活皆讓我不耐
這樣的情緒及背後的念頭,已近乎強迫式地不斷出現
我對自己的念頭不知不覺,完全受其牽制
內心的黑洞深淵不知如何填補
在沒有出口的迷宮內徘徊打轉
我看不見、聽不著、不知道
終於停下來請求
原來自己其實隱隱瞭解,這些情緒和念頭
都是為了埋藏真相的煙幕彈
引我離開問題本源
世界之所以晦暗、醜惡、令人生厭及絕望
全是因為我要它如此
要把內在潛藏的所有罪疚加諸於它
自詡為受害者,罪不在我
它的一切意義皆是我所賦予
「這是闡釋奇蹟的課程。是一門必修的課程。
只有投入時間的多少是隨意的。
隨自己的意願並不表示你可以自訂課程。」
我再次察覺自己對課程的強大抗拒
亟需滴水穿石、一步一腳印往內化解
自認理解課程涵義而不下功夫操練
只是害怕與逃避的藉口
同時對祂毫無信心而已
我真的想要聖靈的平安嗎?
那麼,在好好操練完聖靈給的功課之前
豈能抱怨感受不到課程的任何效果呢?
Dec 16, 2015
Nov 26, 2015
最害怕的事
其實我所做的一切,不過都是為了讓自己不去經歷到那最害怕的事:
也就是「自己很糟、不值得愛,被遺棄只是剛好」的感受。
那個念頭,深埋在心底。
從何而來?又是誰告訴我的?為何我深信不疑?
既然我如此深信,便無法在痛苦之際拯救自己。
承認自己無能為力,需要聖靈教我重新去看,
我從未學過如何看。
不要緊,迴圈不是無法打破,
只需要我退後一步,問問:真相是什麼?
原來對自己最殘酷不仁的人,是我
也就是「自己很糟、不值得愛,被遺棄只是剛好」的感受。
那個念頭,深埋在心底。
從何而來?又是誰告訴我的?為何我深信不疑?
既然我如此深信,便無法在痛苦之際拯救自己。
承認自己無能為力,需要聖靈教我重新去看,
我從未學過如何看。
不要緊,迴圈不是無法打破,
只需要我退後一步,問問:真相是什麼?
原來對自己最殘酷不仁的人,是我
Oct 20, 2014
Sep 24, 2014
從台下看自己 (Ken)
肯恩:
你們很多人都常聽我這樣說:
想像你坐在一個劇場裡,
耶穌在你身邊,你們正在看戲,一齣莎士比亞所謂「人生」的戲。
你看到自己是戲裡的主人翁,在舞台上經歷人生。
你邊回想過去的時光,邊看著自己現在做的事;
你看著自己,嘗試培養出「退一步」的態度。
這是「向耶穌求助」的真義:和他一起退一步,看自己怎麼過日子。
看著自己早上起床、穿衣、吃飯、出門、工作、跟人互動,
如果你與人同住,看著自己和這個人互動。
單純地看著自己怎麼過日子,做一般人都會做的事,喜、怒、哀、樂、激動、平靜,
有時慈愛寬容,也有時冷酷無情。
你只要單純地看著自己。
而這樣觀看之所以重要,是為了體悟那個觀者「你」並不是台上的「你」,
這能幫助你鬆動對於「身體即你」的認同。
我先前引用過「奇蹟看著人生慘境」這句話,
所謂「奇蹟」,就是你和耶穌一起坐在台下看著你的人生慘境。
那個和耶穌一起置身觀眾席的「你」就是抉擇者。
當你和耶穌並肩而坐時,你成了觀察者;
選擇了正念的抉擇者就是觀察者,它觀察小我的一舉一動。
和耶穌一起在台下觀看自己,這就是「奇蹟看著人生慘境」的意義;
那慘境就是你的人生。
奇蹟提醒你台上的景象全都虛妄不實,這就是那句話的意思。
很棒的一句話!
每個人都該把它貼在浴室鏡子、車子照後鏡、冰箱、皮夾和信用卡上,
因為它能幫你從一個有意義的角度來觀看你的人生;
奇蹟看著人生慘境,提醒你所看到的景象虛妄不實。
那景象雖幾可亂真,猶如身體給人的錯覺,但畢竟不是真的。
看似真實並不能使它成真,你晚上作夢的經驗可以證實這一點。
每個人夜裡都會作夢,當你睡著進入夢鄉,夢中事物歷歷在目,彷彿觸手可及。
只有在醒來之後,你才會想起那只是一場夢,
然後它開始消逝,你發現原來什麼也不曾發生過。
但當你沉睡時,你感覺它那樣真實。
這就是《奇蹟課程》最實惠之處,全書有幾百句這樣的嘉言,
你只要拿其中一句,當成一個處方或原則來用,就能為你的日常生活帶來意義。
但請記得,不必放棄你正在做的事,不要因為家庭生活不夠「靈性」而離家,
不要因為工作不夠「靈性」就辭職,不要做一般人、尤其是奇蹟學員常做的傻事。
做個正常人,過尋常的日子,
與人建立關係、成家立業、照顧身體,做你認為有意義的事。
但與此同時,你透過嚴謹的練習,試著培養出退一步和耶穌一起觀察自己的習慣。
一段時間之後,你會開始感受到成效,你開始能夠分辨作夢之人和夢中角色。
夢中角色就是台上那人,正常過日子的那具身體;
而作夢之人是坐在台下、和耶穌或聖靈一起作為觀察者的你。
你只需這麼做,就足以拆穿小我的詭計。
因為,在舞台上演出的是身體,世界是舞台,世間男男女女都只是演員,
而劇場觀眾席上你和耶穌同在之處,才是心靈所在。
有時你被劇情嚇壞了,忘了轉向坐在右邊的耶穌,卻求助於左邊的小我。
你一轉向小我,它馬上使你忘記你坐在台下;
它會使你相信你就是台上那個史提夫。
這表示你的抉擇者不僅不再是觀察者,甚至也不再是抉擇者了。
因為一聽信左邊的小我,你就回到台上去了,相信自己就在舞台上。
直到某個時刻,某件事讓你很難過,才發現大事不妙,
於是你再回到觀眾席,而這次你會轉向右邊。
芭芭拉,請說。
學員:我一直很難區別芭芭拉和抉擇者,
所以聽到你說「另一個地方」,好像對我有幫助。
但我發現我常是從這個位子看自己的行為,
然後呢,是誰在看?變得更麻煩、更混淆了!
肯恩:
那就別管坐在哪裡吧,只要你能看著芭芭拉,
光是看著她,不加任何評判,你就一定是和耶穌或聖靈坐在觀眾席上,
你可以看著芭芭拉說:
「嘖嘖,她又在幹傻事了!她總是覺得內疚、沮喪、又是這樣、又是那樣的…。」
你只要單純地看著,說:
「沒關係,她只是嚇壞了; 她只是個被嚇壞的小女孩,誤解了救恩是什麼。」
你若能抱著這樣的心情,評判就消失了;而沒有評判,小我就無法存活。
這就等於你開始退一步觀看自己了。
如果接下來你又生自己的氣,或感到驚慌、焦慮、內疚,
那就表示小我出現了,表示你沒有在觀看。
學員:
那是後來的事。
當下那一刻我好像能感覺在正念中看著自己,但是下一刻又落入了評判。
肯恩:
沒關係的,那也是好事, 因為你體會到你本來是不評判地觀看自己的,
忽然不知怎地,開始不知不覺地評判起來。
但接下來,你內心知道自己又開始評判,
你裡面有個東西知道你在評判,這和你先前不評判時,形成了對比。
這種經驗是有幫助的。
小我絕不可能束手就擒的,但你要堅持這樣練習,
因這是唯一能使你不虛此生的事,除此之外,世間沒有任何意義。
你若能客觀地看待世間,就不需要莎士比亞,甚至是《奇蹟課程》來教你這道理。
只要你能看清「向外求」是無濟於事的,不論是針對廣大世間或個人都一樣。
到頭來,人人終歸一死,生命有何意義?
所以,只有這樣做才能賦予生命意義。
這說明了〈練習手冊〉前段的練習何以如此重要,
因為耶穌要藉此轉變你的目的。
他不是說,這屋子裡的東西沒意義,
他是說,你賦予它們的目的使它們了無意義。
「意義」的確存在,只是被小我的「無意義」隱藏起來,
所以你得先瞭解小我的目的毫無意義,而不再企圖挽救外在,
不再寄望世事如意,不再欺騙自己,期待世界能夠獲得改善,
因為世界本被造得無可救藥。而心靈卻是可以改變的,
《課程》的宗旨就在幫助我們恢復覺性,改變心靈。
但這不表示,你在世界上不再有任何作為,
而是如今你的行事作為有了不同的目的。
世上有許多人行善出於錯誤的動機,往往出於特殊性,更鞏固了分裂之念。
然而,要做出世間認可、嘉惠世人的事並非不可能,
只須從另一個觀點著眼,不企圖改變外境,
而是志在樹立改變內在、改變自己心靈的典範。
節錄自:
http://www.acimtaiwan.info/viewtopic.php?f=72&t=4097
身體免不了情緒的起起伏伏,各種擔憂和痛苦。
說到底,我們夢出這個紛擾不斷的世界,正是企圖從心中抹去上主的愛,
因此根本不要期待問題會輕易平息。
為了仍有這些問題感到內疚或受挫,對我們既無助益,也不仁慈。
其實,真正有幫助的是,
瞭解聖靈正好可以利用痛苦來教導我們「我不是眼前世界的受害者」(W.57.1.31)。
學習本課程,我們需要請聖靈牽著我們的手,和我們一起不帶評判地觀看痛苦。
祂會教我們看出,這一煩惱僅僅表示,
我們理智上雖已瞭解身體和世界的虛幻本質,內心的恐懼卻仍欲遮蔽這一認知。
恐懼呼求的是愛和理解,而非懲罰。
這就說明了即使感覺好像沒什麼進展,靈性道路還是值得走下去。
意識到聖靈不帶評判的愛就在我們心內,與恐懼比鄰而居,我們便會恍然大悟,
自己無論如何神智不清,絲毫影響不了上主的愛。
如此不斷操練,我們的恐懼和痛苦便會逐步減少,
它們看似控制著我們的力量也開始減弱,可能很長一段時間內還不會消失,
但是慢慢地不再是一個大問題了。
最後,每當我們感到痛苦只需看著它說:「又開始了,還有什麼新的把戲?」
到了這一步,我們一旦發現自己又想入非非,
以為痛苦是自己的悲慘下場,而非一個笨拙的、暫時的路障時,
就會記起耶穌慈愛的忠告:
「小我老想打敗別人,因為它自認為有戰勝你的可能。
上主的想法則恰恰相反(T.23.I.2:6,7)」。
節錄自:
http://www.acimtaiwan.info/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=4079
Jul 15, 2014
適合
從前以新時代的觀點,
認為只要修行或寬恕,就能讓適合自己狀態的人進入生活,
不適合的會自然離開;
現在才體會,
當下已出現在我生活中的,全都是適合我狀態的人,
認為只要修行或寬恕,就能讓適合自己狀態的人進入生活,
不適合的會自然離開;
現在才體會,
當下已出現在我生活中的,全都是適合我狀態的人,
不適合的根本不會出現……
而前者是出自一種多麼不仁慈的心念啊
而前者是出自一種多麼不仁慈的心念啊
Jan 31, 2014
【肯恩影片】美的象徵
【美的象徵】
"Beauty as a Symbol"
今天早上我們要討論一個經常在工作坊中提出的問題。這問題起因於課程的形而上教導以及我們的親身經驗,其實相當合理。課程清楚表明,這世界是個幻相。我們與其他人事物建立特殊關係,是因為我們需要依賴上主之愛以外的事物。無論這些世間事物是什麼,我們對它們的特殊執著總會讓自己更深陷於分裂之夢,而不是那個能讓我們完全脫離夢境的寬恕美夢。
This morning we are going to talk about a question which arises very often in workshops. And it is actually a very logical question as stemming from what the courses teaching (the metaphysical teaching) as well as what our experiences are. The course is quite clear that the world is an illusion. Our special relationship with people, with things, with substances, are all part of our need to be dependent on something other than the love of God. Our special attachments to the things of the world, regardless what they are, are always kind of rooting us in the dream of of separation, rather than the happy dream of forgiveness, which removes us ultimately from the dream entirely.
另一方面,許多人──包括我自己以及正在聆聽和觀看影片的各位──在大自然與藝術層面都曾有過十分美好的經驗,舉凡繪畫、雕刻、音樂、詩詞,或是日出、日落、月升和壯麗的山巒等。我們都有過非常正面的世間體驗,因此人們問:「我喜歡漫步於公園或可愛的森林,或者是坐在潺潺的小溪旁,享受寧靜的一天,為何我應為此而內疚?」想當然,答案絕對是:你不用因此感到內疚。但還有一種出自正念的看待方式,就某方面而言,可讓你魚與熊掌兼得。
So given all that, on the other hand, so many people - myself included, and most of you listening to it and watching it - have had very lovely experiences in the world of nature, the world of art (painting, sculpture, music, poetry, etc.), beautiful experiences as sunrises, sunsets, moon rises, beautiful mountain ranges, etc. We all have very positive experiences in the world, and as people say "Why should I feel guilty? Because I like to spend a quiet day walking in the park or gentle woods, or just sit by kind of a babbling stream etc." And of course the answer is absolutely that you should not feel guilty. But there is a right-minded way of looking at that, which in a sense allows you to have your cake and eat it too.
那就是,當你瞭解這一切都不存在,一切皆是內在狀態的投射之際──如課程所說,你眼中的世界是描述你內心狀態的外在表相 (T-21, Intro 1. 2-5)。若這裡什麼都沒有,就表示我們以為在這兒的一切都是心靈抉擇的象徵:抉擇作為一位心懷罪咎的上主之子,還是一位純潔無罪的上主之子;抉擇讓小我當我們的佞徒損友,還是讓耶穌/聖靈當我們的良師益友。這世界上的一切都反映著那個抉擇。因此,當我們在令人愉悅的自然環境中經歷美好的體驗時,課程從未表示「你不應享受這個,也不應感覺受到啟發和鼓舞」。然而你得認出,自己在外在世界所經歷的一切,皆是你心靈內在狀態的投射及延伸。這樣的眼光便能讓你魚與熊掌兼得 (既享受世間體驗,同時保有無罪咎侵擾的平安)。
That is, when you understand there is nothing out there, everything is a projection of the internal condition - as the course says the world you see is the outside picture of an inward condition (T-21, Intro 1. 2-5). If there is nothing out there, it means anything that we think out there is a symbol of the decision the mind has made, the decision to be the guilty Son of God, or a guiltless Son of God, the decision to be with the ego as our teacher and friend or have Jesus/Holy Spirit as our teacher and friend. And everything in the world reflects that. So when one has a beautiful experience in our lovely natural setting, and again there is actually nothing according to the course says "you should not enjoy that, you should not let yourself be inspired and lifted up". But what you should be able to do, which again will allow you to have the world's cake and eat it and enjoy too, is to recognize what you are experiencing outside is the projection or extension of the inward condition of what is inside in your mind.
換言之,若我看到一件美麗的藝術品而歡欣鼓舞、聽到一首動人的曲子而深受啟發、在心曠神怡的自然環境中感到振奮,那麼我應認出:這正為我反映了「我的正念所選擇的美」;這個出自正念的抉擇,選擇了源於我內在的某種事物,而將我內在的上主的愛帶入具體的形式。這是選擇耶穌為師的美,是經驗耶穌之愛的美;這才是真正的美。但由於我認為自己是這具身體,因此我的心靈將這份美延伸出去,而讓我看見身邊美的事物,並因為這些看似在我之外的事物而感動。
In other words, if I see a beautiful work of art and I am inspired by it, if I hear beautiful piece of music and be inspired by it, if I am in a beautiful natural setting and be inspired by it, then I would recognize that this is reflecting for me "my right-minded choice for Beauty", my right-minded choice for something that elicits in me, and kind of brings to the surface in me the love of God. It's the beauty of choosing Jesus as my teacher, and the beauty of experiencing his love. That's the Beauty. But since I think I am a body, then my mind takes that beauty and extends it out, and I now see beauty around me, and I allow myself to be inspired by something that is SEEMINGLY external to me.
若我不允許這狀況發生 (雖然總會發生),就會倚賴外在事物。「如果今天聽不到我最愛的曲子怎麼辦?如果我規劃了這個完美行程,在山中或美麗的林間漫步,但卻下雨了?又或者會有個可怕的颱風而讓我不得出門?」若我讓自己仰賴外在事物來提供這份內在的美好感受,麻煩就來了,因為這便成為了另一段特殊關係。但若我讓外在的自然之美或藝術之美來提醒自己內在的美,並認同這份美,於是無論我漫步於玫瑰盛開的花園,還是荒煙蔓草的花園,這份美都隨我同行;不管外境的狀況是否允許我在野外或家裡享受這美好的一天,我內在仍保有這份美好的感受。
If I don't allow that to happen what always happens, and I become dependent on what is external. "What if I can't hear my favorite piece of music today? What if I have this beautiful day plan to walk in the mountains or the beautiful woods or forests and it rains? Or there is a terrible storm and I can't go out?" If I allow myself to be dependent on the external for this wonderful beautiful feeling inside, then I am in trouble. Because it ends up just being one more special relationship. But if I let whatever the natural beauty outside or artistic beauty outside remind me of the Beauty inside, and I identify with that Beauty, then I can have that Beauty whether I walk to a rose garden or I walk to a garden of weeds; whether I'm allowed because of what it took allow and enjoy this wonderful day in nature or just to stay home, I still have that beautiful feeling inside.
因此,我們需要世界的美 (我們判斷為世界之美的事物) ──不用說,這當然是相對的美。你所認定的美,對我而言不一定美;在藝術層面上讓我深受感動的事物,也未必會讓你感同身受。無論這是什麼樣的美,重要的是:它象徵著內在的美。我將那個象徵視為一種提醒自己內在之美的方式。只要我讓世界來提醒我這份美,並與之認同,整個世界就會變得美麗。那不是我的肉眼所能認出的美,但我的心會隨之唱和,歡欣鼓舞。總而言之,這並非是要你不再尋找能讓自己快樂及感動的世間事物,但你可以將它視為一種尋回真實靈感、真實幸福來源、真實內在之美的方式。
So we need the beauty of the world, what we judge to be the beauty of the world - of course it goes without saying that beauty is totally relative, what is beautiful for you may not be beautiful for me, what moves me artistically may not move you artistically. But what is the same in all of us is that inner beauty. Whatever it is, that symbolizes the inner beauty, that's what's important. And I use that symbol as the way of reminding me of the beauty inside. As long as I can use the world to remind me of that beauty inside and identify with that beauty, then the entire world becomes beautiful. Not the beauty that my eyes might recognize, but the Beauty that my heart would sing to and just rejoice in. So again this is not saying that want you not find things in the world that makes one happy and inspired, but you want to use that as a way to get back to the true inspiration, and the true source of our happiness, and the true beauty inside.
Dec 16, 2013
【肯恩影片】今天,我不再傷害自己了
【今天,我不再傷害自己了】
"I will not hurt myself again today"
今天早上我們要討論的是練習手冊第 330 課:「今天,我不再傷害自己了」。我們不會實際探討這一課的內容,只會著重於標題與其涵義,以及如何運用於日常生活。這部課程最終並不在意你對它的理論瞭解得多麼透徹、剖析其形上之境時多麼頭頭是道,真正重要的是你如何活出它來、並運用於日常生活中再普通不過的種種實際情境:自己的身體經驗、與其他身體共處、運用身體、觀看新聞中的其他身體、處理一般人都會面臨的各類狀況等等。重點在於換一個方式來面對。
This morning we will talk about Lesson 330 from the workbook, "I will not hurt myself again today." I'm not going to actually talk about the lesson itself; I'm really just going to focus on the title and what the title means and how that could be helpful to us as we go through our day. You know, the bottom line with A Course in Miracles is that it doesn't matter how well you understand its theory, how well you could spout its metaphysics. What really matters is how you live it, and how you live it day in and day out and all the practical situations that everybody experiences; our experiences with our own body, living with bodies of others, working with bodies, looking at bodies on the news, dealing with all the kinds of situations that all normal people are confronted with, and the idea is to do it differently.
這一課指出...事實上就某個層面而言,整部課程都可視為對這一點的探討:我們渾然不覺自己是如何自我傷害的。課程所談論的,不是切麵包時劃破了手指、或碰觸炙熱的爐火時被燙傷等情況,而是說明:我們會傷了自己,全由於我們已選擇以「傷害」為師。傷害之師便是小我,它相信自己傷害了上主,以保我們周全;換言之,作為祂完美一體的一部份讓我們痛苦,為了確立與完美一體分裂,並成為獨立自主的特殊個體,就必須傷害上主。這便是「罪」的起源,我們因為與自己的天父及源頭分裂而戴罪。隨之而來的則是內疚:我對自己所做過的好事深感罪惡。出於自私自利之心,於是我犧牲了上主、將祂的愛子釘死於十字架,以保自己存活;接著又造出了一個與天堂、與上主之境全然相反的世界,以一具身體的個體身分存在其中,與所有其他身體分離、且有所不同。
And this lesson points out and, in fact, the whole Course really in a sense can be seen as commentary on this, that we are not aware how we hurt ourselves. And we're not talking about hurt ourselves—you know, cutting a finger when we're slicing a bagel or burning ourselves when we touch a hot stove or something. It's really talking about how we hurt ourselves by choosing the teacher of hurt. Because the teacher of hurt is the ego of course, and it believes that it hurt God so we would not be hurt. In other words, that it was hurting us to stay part of His perfect Oneness, and so in order to establish our separation from perfect Oneness and be an individual, and be unique, and be special, and be autonomous God had to be hurt and, of course, there's a word for that and that is "sin;" that we sinned against our Creator and our Source by separating from Him. And then, of course, that what closely follows from that is our guilt: I feel terribly guilty because of what I've done. At pure selfishness and self-interest, I sacrificed God, I crucified His Son so I could exist, and then I made up a world the opposite of Heaven, of God's world, in which I exist as a clear individual, as a body separate and distinct from all other bodies.
我們不可能不感到罪咎,也不可能沒有罪咎,因它已織入了我們的 DNA,是構成我們形下 (existence) 身分的原料;而愛則是構成我們形上 (being) 的原料。課程以「形下」和「形上」作為對比,靈性是形上的狀態,而形下則是小我的狀態。我們選擇了形下原料的罪咎,而不是形上原料的愛,因此在這個世界以身體的形式存在,便不可能不感到罪咎。由於罪咎會呼求懲罰,我們便如此傷害了自己。
It is impossible then not to feel guilty and to have—and this guilt is woven into our DNA; it's part of the very fabric of our existence, just as love is (to just use the same term), love is the fabric of our being. The Course contrasts "being" and "existence;" spirit is the state of being and existence is the state of the ego. That rather than have the very fabric of our being be love, the very fabric of our existence is guilt, and it's impossible to be in this world as a body without feeling guilt. This is how we hurt ourselves because guilt demands punishment.
因此耶穌在第 27 章中說:「在你認為帶給你痛苦的所有原因中,你從不把自己的罪咎算在內」(T-27.VII.7:4)。我們受苦的原因是罪咎──更確切的說,是由於心靈選擇了罪咎。既然罪咎不存在,不存在的事物豈可能造成任何痛苦?無論是物質層面的痛苦、心理層面的痛苦或兩者兼具,相信自己有罪的信念才是痛苦的原因。
So we're told in Chapter 27 that of all the many causes of our suffering we never thought guilt was among them. Guilt is the cause of our suffering, and even more to the point it's the mind's decision for guilt that's the cause of our suffering, because since guilt is non-existent, how could what doesn't exist cause any pain? It's our belief that we are guilty; that's the cause of our pain, whether we're talking about physical pain or psychological pain or, of course, both.
可以說,「今天我不再傷害自己了」,即是認清了我傷害自己的程度有多深。在實際層面上,這又代表什麼呢?若產生罪咎的原因是我相信了自己已和源頭分裂,這個信念便會反映於我在世界的生活,因此我在這世界的罪咎來源 (即罪咎本源的陰影) 便是我與其他弟兄的分裂。我又是如何與其他弟兄分裂的呢?藉由判斷他們。我利用他們來滿足我的匱乏,因而依賴他們,這便是課程所說的特殊之愛;或者我利用他們來滿足我擺脫罪惡感的渴望,因而厭惡他們,這便是課程所說的特殊之恨。特殊之恨是針對他人對我做的事,我悲傷、憤怒及不幸之念所歸咎的對象,特殊之愛則發生於世界及他人提供我自認想要之物時。然而在兩種情況中,我們都將弟兄視為有別於自己;這即是傷害之處,也是我們痛苦的來源。
So to say, "I will not hurt myself again today" is to be aware of how much I do hurt myself. And what does this mean on a practical level? Well, if the cause of my guilt is my belief I separated from my Source and that belief gets reflected in my life here in the world then I—then the source of my guilt here in this world, which is the shadow of my ontological guilt, is that I'm separating from other people. And how do I separate from other people? I judge them; I use them as a means to service my own neediness. That's what the Course calls special love, and then I become dependent on them. Or I use them to serve my neediness of getting rid of my guilt, so I hate them; that's what the Course talks about special hate and special love. Special hate are all the objects of our grievances, of our anger, of our unhappy thoughts that we attribute to what other people do to us, and special love being when the world and people in the world give us what we think we want. But in or—in both of these conditions (special love and special hate) we're seeing other people as different from us; that's the hurt. That's the source of our pain.
分裂或分裂的信念會生出罪惡感,因而成為我們痛苦的來源。一旦我們認清這點,便會說「今天,我不再傷害自己了」。這意味著不再選擇「傷害之師」的小我並聽從其教導:若我攻擊他人、批判他人、大發雷霆而讓他人同意自己、認為自己的福祉不同於他人,便能過得更好。其實我已擁有我所奪取的。我想奪走你的清白無罪,讓你感到內疚就是我奪走它的方式,因此我攻擊你、批判你、逼迫你同意我。
Separation or the belief in separation is the source of our pain because that's what leads to our guilt. Once we're clear about that, then to say, "I will not hurt myself again today" means I will not choose my ego—the teacher of hurt—and listen to its guidance that tells me I am better off when I attack other people, when I judge other people, when I can get good and angry at other people and then get everybody else to agree with me, when I say my interests are separate and apart from someone else's; I have what I have taken. I want your innocence and I take it by making you feel guilty, and attack you and judge you and again, get other people to agree with me.
我們可以說,第 330 課「今天,我不再傷害自己了」就代表著我對自己的承諾:從早上醒來到晚上就寢的這段時間,我將會選擇以愛為師,而非以傷害為師;選擇以治癒為師,而非以痛苦為師。這表示我得承認:自己對他人的判斷、「認為他人及其福祉與我不同」的念頭,就是我痛苦、抑鬱、焦慮、不幸福及不舒服的來源。若要真正感受到上主的平安 (意即渴望上主的平安),我必須自願放棄判斷。這就是請求聖靈或耶穌協助的意義,我將我的判斷帶到祂們跟前,讓祂們提醒我:那不是我想要的,因為它會傷害我;今天我便要重新選擇,不再傷害自己。
So to say Lesson 330 and mean it, "I will not hurt myself again today," is a promise I make to myself from the moment I wake up to the time I go to bed at night, that I will choose the Teacher of Love, not the teacher of hurt, that I will choose the Teacher of healing, not the teacher of pain. And that means I must recognize that my judgments of other people, seeing them as different from me, seeing their interests as a part from me is the source of my unhappiness, of my depression, of my anxiety, of my general unhappiness and senses of malaise. And to truly feel the peace of God, which means I want that peace of God, means I must be willing to give up my judgment. So that's what it means to ask the Holy Spirit or Jesus for help, and I go to them with my judgments and have them remind me that that is not what I want because it hurts me, and today I choose not to hurt myself again.
摘要:
我們跟錯老師,自認與上主分裂 ,心生罪咎
此信念反映於物質世界,變成自認與弟兄分裂
因此我們判斷弟兄,鞏固這個信念
從而生出內疚,感到痛苦
這個狀況就是傷害自己
化解這個窘境的方式
則是請另一位老師協助我們看清真相、放棄判斷
既認出未與弟兄分裂,便相信未與上主分裂
於是在平安中寬恕了夢境
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