This is it

在不斷練習轉念與寬恕後，

近來發現自己越來越容易與腦中的念頭拉開距離，

只要去質疑「這是真的嗎？」，然後在寧靜中等待答案浮現，

就越來越容易看出那些原先根深蒂固的想法，有多麽荒唐可笑。

從前我以為自己需要抓住每個念頭，

分析、理解、消化，才能放下它們。

但現在能認出那些恐懼念頭其實毫無根據，

只是亂七八糟、嘮嘮叨叨的雜訊，阻礙我真正聆聽。

我越在意那些念頭，它們就越真實而立體，

反之，越不在意、越能笑著忽略，就會越小聲。

念頭像是一堆烏雲，看似濃密、實際上卻虛無飄渺。

只要平安、慧見與清明神智成為我最真切的想望，

就能輕輕穿越雲層，切入聖靈所在的頻道。

I am in Love, without objects.

所有我渴望的一切都在此刻、都在這裡。

如果真的要定義「成功」的話，我想就是這樣吧？

世上再沒什麼比這更好了，

一路以來的練習有了實在的回報，值得給自己拍拍手。

也深深感恩。

腦內的斷捨離

如果對每個飄過腦中的念頭都問一句：

「這是真的嗎？我可以百分之百確定它絕對是真的嗎？」

才發現，原來我根本不能肯定這世界萬物的真實性。

例如：「這個天空是真的嗎？」

然後：「肉眼看到的東西真實存在嗎？」

我都無法肯定回答。

一直以來我們都只是純粹相信著這些無法肯定的事情。

甚至是腦中的各種座右銘、道德信念：

「不得遲到」、「人生沒有結婚生子便不圓滿」

「天下沒有白吃的午餐」、「偷拐搶騙有罪」....

爸媽告訴我們、學校教我們，或從影視書籍看到，

這些信念就如同指令一般輸入腦海，

看似一切真實不虛，因此我們天真的小腦袋也鮮少質疑。

當我們相信了這些念頭，便排除了反面的其他可能性，

過去與未來的真實性也變得不可動搖。

任何事件的當下，這些信念會先聲奪人，告訴我們應該如何行動。

即使與內在的聲音有所衝突、疑惑苦惱，

因為認定了它們就是自我價值，我們不得不前後一致，

持續讓信念凌駕於當下的直覺感受。

因為，「我」其實就是這些信念的總和而已。

沒有了它們，「我」會死。

因此相信這些信念時，我便是極端殘暴的，
擋在它們面前的人必定要釘上十字架不可。

在化解的過程中，一定會問：

「究竟還有什麼能相信的？」

沒有。

因為真理不需要我們的相信。

抱著質問的心態去看每一個舊有概念，

便會發現原來「愛」、「平安」、「仁慈」的品質，

我們可能一丁點都不瞭解，甚或恐懼，

所以才會把它扭成自己所知道的那個樣子。

挖不下去的時候，只要問自己：

我到底要什麼？

是原本這虛假且不可能幸福的世界觀？

還是一個完全未知的真理？

帶著愛說不

我從未學習到「帶著愛說不」是怎麼一回事。

對我來說，說「不」或拒絕別人有時等同於傷害對方，
因運而生的內疚也讓我難以承受。

說「不」等於傷害對方。
這是真的嗎？

如果把這個念頭反轉過來：
・說「是」等於傷害對方 — 欺騙
・說「是」等於自我傷害 — 犧牲
・不說「不」等於傷害對方 — 冷處理更傷人
・不說「不」等於自我傷害 — 內疚
・說「不」不等於傷害對方 — 只是表達自己

這些情況似乎都更接近真實。

由於在恐懼與不知所措之下，
無論是犧牲妥協、配合大局，或者間接、委婉的冷處理，
反而對雙方都造成更大的波瀾。

真正造成傷害的是我不尊重自己的心，
同時又做了違背自性的事：
以恐懼回應，而不是愛。

我從未想過有可能帶著愛說不。
若在平安的心境下說不，便能明晰而仁慈，
對方依然能感受到連結與支持，因此說什麼都不再是重點。
人與人之間的互動，終究只是為了尋求那底下的愛而已。

最重要的是，因為我為自己選擇了愛的情境，
不管對方的反應如何，都能以一顆寧靜的心來看待了。

愛內沒有怨尤

Love is what you are already. Love doesn't seek anything. It's already complete. It doesn't want. It doesn't need. Has no "shoulds". It already has everything that it wants. It already is everything it wants, just the way it wants it.

So when I heard people said that they love someone and want to be loved in return, I know they are not talking about love. They are talking about something else. Sometimes you may seem to trade love for the stressful thought appearing in the moment. It is a little trip out into illusion. Seeking love is how you lose the awareness of love. But you can only lose the awareness of it, not the state. That's not an option. Because love is what we all are. That's immovable.

When you investigate your stressful thinking, and your mind becomes clear. Love pours into your life. And there is nothing you can do about it. Love joins everything, without condition. It doesn't avoid the nightmare. It looks forward to it, and then inquires. There is no way to join, except to get free of your belief that you want something from your partner. That's true joining. It's like "Bingo! You just won the lottery."

If I want something from the partner, I simply ask. If he says no and I have a problem with that, I need to take a look at my thinking. Because I already have everything. We all do. That's how I can sit here so comfortably. I don't want anything from you that you don't want to give. I don't even want your freedom if you don't. I don't even want your peace.

Love wouldn't deny a breath. It wouldn't deny a grain of sand, or a speck of dust. It is totally in love with itself, and it delights and acknowledging itself through it's own presence, in every way without limit. It embraces all. Everything from the murderer and the rapist, to the saint, to the dog and cat, tree, and sky. Love is so vast within itself that will burn you up. It's so vast that there is nothing you can do with it. All you can do is be it.

Thinking you need someone's love is very stressful. When you don't have it, you suffer. And when you do have it, you want more of it. Or you're afraid that you lose it. When you believe your stressful thoughts, you suffer. But when you question them, you don't suffer. You realize that you don't need the love of anyone in particular because you can feel love all the time, with or without another person. That is the awareness of love itself. You can't lose love itself. You can only lose the awareness of it.

When we question our stressful thoughts about love, we can begin to find true fulfillment. It doesn't take two people to have happy marriage. It only takes one. Seeking approval is one of the main ways that people lose the awareness of it. Seeking is always stressful. It puts your happiness in other people's hands.

─ 《Your Inner Awakening》Byron Katie